The Hidden Challenge of Breastfeeding: Navigating Tongue Ties

So today’s topic is going to be about tongue ties and lip ties, and I consider myself a professional at this point because I’m 2 for 2 with my babies. But the experience has been very different, and I wanna encourage you that you’re not alone. It is very frustrating, especially since most of the time you get little to no answers on what’s going on.

And I know what the struggle feels like.

A Personal Journey Through My Children’s Experiences

And I can tell you that this time around, compared to my toddler, it has been way more stressful. And the reason why is because I’m going back to work. And I know that with my experience with my toddler and being able to be at home and exclusively breastfeed my baby, like, that’s not reality for most.

And I’m recognizing and appreciating that now, because my experience, the first time with it, albeit the 1st week was brutal, but then after that, everything was a breeze. So I just want you to understand, I’ve seen both sides of it, and I want to really support you in this because it’s hard.

So with my toddler, just a brief background on her. She was born, everything was great, she was in the hospital, you know, they’re checking everything. Oh, she’s fine.

She’s fine. You know? No one really made any mention of it. I will say the pediatrician was like, she this isn’t my pediatrician. It was the hospital. She might have a tongue tie. Okay. Didn’t explain to me what that meant or anything, just, like, made a brief comment, and I was on my merry way.

Well, I get home that night, and my husband and I, obviously, were exhausted.

[00:02:32]: We’re new parents. We’re, you know, I was afraid to even, like, change a diaper because she was so small. Right? But there was something off, and I knew something was off. And I called my midwife. I said, this kid I said, I know I haven’t been doing this this long, but, like, this cry doesn’t seem right.

So my midwife came over first thing, you know, a couple hours later, because I literally called her at like 4 o’clock in the morning on Friday. And so she came over, she was at my house by like 6, and she said, Maren, she’s developing jaundice. She’s she’s not she’s not eating.

And she opened her mouth and she said, oh my gosh. She has a tongue tie. No one told you this? I was like, no. I said they, like, mentioned she might, but that was it. So, essentially, like, I was nursing her thinking that she was getting my colostrum, and she wasn’t getting anything.

Understanding Tongue Ties and Their Impact on Breastfeeding

And the reason for that is because she had this tongue tie. And what that means is if you probably can’t look at your mouth if if you’re listening to this while you’re driving. But, there’s a band of tissue, which is called the lingual frenulum that is underneath your tongue.

And if it is very short, very thick, or very tight, the tongue does not have the mobility that it should. So my daughter, she could stick her tongue out, but she couldn’t flip it back, essentially. Like, she couldn’t get the tongue up to the roof of her mouth to swallow any kind of milk. And so she was starving.

And I called my pediatrician, and she was like, oh, like, the person I recommend isn’t available until Tuesday. And I’m like, well, we can’t wait. Like and my midwife was like, no. We’re not waiting.

So she called a midwife about an hour north of us to do a release. And when I say release, I’m not talking, like, all the fancy lasers, and I’m talking, like, cutting it with scissors. K? I’m telling you, I’ve experienced both sides of this, and things that were great in my with my first were terrible with the second and vice versa.

And I will tell you the worst part with my toddler was the actual release and the healing process, because it was just cut with scissors. It was ugly. She, you know, she cauterized it, obviously, and she put colloidal silver on it. But once that healing process happens, I mean, my daughter’s mouth was just gross. Just gray, silver, yellow.

It was awful. Absolutely awful. Hence, the reason why when I had to take my family photos the same week that I was bringing my daughter into the pediatric dentist, I told my birth photographer, Paulina. She’s like, oh, well, we can reschedule. You know, she’s so accommodating. I was like, no. Uh-uh. We’re doing it on Tuesday before she has to go in the following day.

[00:05:42]: I say, because if they end up doing it, I don’t want it to look like it did with my toddler. So with my toddler, she had it released on a Friday. My husband was a champ and was feeding her from a syringe for the whole weekend.

She was loving it, like, she would basically suckle around the syringe, but the reason for that was my milk wasn’t in, and she was so starving we had to get her milk. So my midwife, she found someone to donate milk to me.

She vetted the person, because me being me, I’m like, where is this milk coming from? You know, I wanted to make sure it was no one with the COVID vaccine. I wanna make sure, obviously, this person was healthy, not a smoker or a drinker or anything like that.

And so that was really stressful in of itself because all you want is for your milk to come in and to be feeding your baby.

Well, by Monday, my milk started to come in, and my toddler, she she latched. Like, she didn’t have any issues, and she and I had a breastfeeding journey, until she was 2 years old. Yeah.

There were hiccups in those 2 years. Your typical I had mastitis once. I had blebs in the beginning, and that was mainly because of her latch, a poor latch. So there were definitely signs of her tongue tie, obviously, in the beginning with the jaundice and whatnot. But then she did struggle a tiny bit.

But for the most part, she was exclusively breastfed, and we didn’t have any problems. She never took a bottle. She never took to a paci, really. It was fine.

Missed concerns and misdiagnosis of my second child’s tongue tie

Well, insert my newborn. Now my newborn, as you may or may not know, she did spend that first night in the hospital despite being born at home, and you still have to go through the whole releasing process, you know, seeing the nurses, the the pediatricians, etcetera. Not one person said she had a tie. K? And when I tell you that no one addressed my newborn’s ties I mean, no one.

[00:07:57]: The only person who made mention of it was not so much the tongue tie, but the lip tie was my chiropractor. And she’s like, yeah. She’s like, it’ll be fine. Well, it’s not fine. Okay?

Spoiler alert, not fine. And if you speak to my husband, he gets so frustrated. He’s like, how do you have, like, these people who are pediatricians and midwives and all the things, and no one’s seeing this?

And and the sad part is it is something that goes undiagnosed. Now, on the other side of the coin, you will have people that say, well, it’s over diagnosed.

[00:08:36]: And, you know, people are getting their tongue tie or lip tie released, and it’s they’re not being conservative with it, like, everybody’s getting it. And to that, I say, I understand, you know, why people may feel that way.

Because, for example, with my newborn… I guess she’s technically not a newborn anymore, but I still call her that. If I was at home, it wouldn’t be an issue. Right? Because she would nurse, and she has no trouble nursing.

But here’s the problem, if you do not address tongue ties, as the child grows, and then obviously, and into adulthood, there is a slew of other issues that come from the lack of mobility of the tongue.

Long-term Effects of Untreated Tongue Ties

So first of all, it affects speech in language

My oldest daughter has a name that you definitely do not want to have a, you know, a slur with, or a, a lisp. Right? And so I don’t want either of them struggling to say that name.

And you have issues with eating

This is the one that, really scared me. Trust me, baby little eating can be scary enough. I have a whole episode on it if you want me to talk you through that. But with eating a lot of foods, what happens is because you gotta remember this frenulum, which is that muscle, so to speak, underneath the tongue.

When it’s so tight and or so short, it could be either tight, short, thick, or it could be all 3. Who knows? My daughter’s is more, it was tight. And so, what happens is, the back 2 thirds of her tongue couldn’t go up. So she could suckle, and that’s quite frankly how she would nurse.

[00:10:36]: She would suckle with the first 3rd, and she figured out like, she she’s very smart. She figured out a workaround to get the milk. Well, the issue is once we start solids with her, if she tries, say, peanut butter or anything kinda sticky like that, and say it gets to the roof of her mouth, she wouldn’t have the ability to take her tongue and, like, swoop it to get it off.

Therefore, resulting in a higher chance of her choking, which that is so scary. It affects their breathing. So I want you to right now, if you can I’m sure you can. You can do this while you’re even driving. I want you to close your mouth and I want you to think about where does your tongue rest? Now, where your tongue should be resting is at the roof of your mouth.

[00:11:28]: If a child, therefore, turning into an adult, does not get this released, they do not put the tongue at the top of their mouth. The tongue just kinda sits at the bottom.

Oral health problems into adulthood

Why is that an issue? It’s an issue because you are creating a slew of oral health problems. Cavities, you know, the smaller palate, yada yada yada. And your mouth is think about how close it is to your brain.

Like, you must have positive oral health. Like, it has to be good, because it’s just gonna create a domino effect with other issues with your body. You know, sleeping, it can lead to, like, sleep apnea.

[00:12:13]: Right? Like, all of these things that you don’t wanna deal with. And if you don’t identify, treat, and then cope/work with this tongue tie, those issues I just talked about are inevitable. And so when we brought in my newborn to this pediatric dentist, he went over all that.

Now mind you, leading up to that, I had a feeding specialist come over. And she is the one she was recommended by my pediatrician. She was the one that straight up told me, hey, you need to get this checked, like, because she can’t get her tongue moving the way it should. So we listened to her. I did my research.

[00:13:00]: I called this one, pediatric dentist that my pediatrician had recommended. He wouldn’t take us because my daughter didn’t have the vitamin k shot. And I just kinda, like, eye rolled on that because that’s just a protect your own butt thing.

She’s 3 months old. She’s not gonna bleed out. She’s making her own vitamin k. I digress. And he was like, well, you know, we we can do a consult.

[00:13:25]: I’m like, I’m not gonna do a consult if you’re not actually doing the procedure, homie. Anyway, so I ended up getting referred by my daughter’s pediatric dentist, they don’t deal with them, to another one who’s, an hour north, and I have nothing but great things to say.

I do want to warn anyone who happens to get this done, things that you should be looking for.

What to look our for in a pediatric dentist who treats tongue ties

First of all, like, this office, I mean, when I say they cater to children and want children to feel comfortable with the dental experience, I mean that. They were just so kind. You know? I mean, my daughter, she’s a baby, so she doesn’t really appreciate everything that’s going on.

But I know my toddler would have been going ham, like, with the different toys they had. They had balloons when you leave.

[00:14:19]: They had, you know, every kid’s walking out with some kind of stuffed animal or whatever. And the dentist was super informative, very chill. He was like, listen. I’m just gonna shoot it to you straight. Like, this is what’s going on.

I told you he explained about, like, the consequence of not getting it done. He believed in informed consent, and as soon as, like, I hear people say that, I’m like, yes, bless. You know my people.

His assistants were great, And so we scheduled it for the next day, the next morning. Now when we show up, and he warned us that we weren’t gonna go back there, but it was quite frankly, like, a really difficult moment for me.

I was up at the counter making her, check up, you know, you have to get checked up like a week or so later to make sure it didn’t reattach, which I’ll speak to that in a second. And the assistance came out, and I’m like, okay, I wanna take her now, and my husband wasn’t there yet, and I, like, lost it.

Because it reminded me of when she was born. You know, she was born at home, but then she had a complication with swallowing the meconium, and within 20 minutes of her being born, she was taken from me. I didn’t have that golden hour. I didn’t have any of that experience.

[00:15:38]: And quite frankly, I didn’t get to hold her for almost 2 hours after that. It might have been a bit more. I don’t even wanna think about it. So I say all that to say when they took her from me, all those feelings came back fast.

Now the procedure, thankfully, is very fast, and the laser is very precise. So what I will say is, listen, with my toddler, it was what it was. We had to get it done. It was an emergency situation.

She was starving, developing jaundice, etcetera. But if you are in a position like I am in, I would not recommend getting it cut by a scalpel or, you know, scissors or anything like that.

You need to get it done by laser, and it needs to be a full release. And so that’s what they did. They brought her back. Oh, my gosh. And then when they brought us back, they left this picture up of her. I almost died.

It was so adorable. They put her little, like, safety goggles on. She looks so precious. But the dentist warned me. He’s like, listen. She fought me the whole time. Like, she is tough, and she is very, very smart.

He’s like, I and I always laugh because I have my own thoughts on why people say this about my children, and I don’t accredit it all to genetics.

[00:17:14]: I think that my choices with my children also have resulted in this, but he’s like, she’s so alert. She she follows me everywhere, like, she was watching everything I did. He’s like, I’ve never seen a baby do that.

So the reason why that is important is because it is leading me to my next point.

She has figured out a way to circumvent her issue. Like, she she wants to eat, and so she’s like, alright, I can’t do it this way. I’m gonna do it that way. And so I have to and my husband, and and my dad, and my mom, you know, her caretakers, we have to retrain her.

Because for the last 3 months, she’s been doing it wrong. And even in utero, they learn how to suck and swallow and, you know, they’re they’re playing with their hands and yada yada yada. She was doing it wrong in utero, obviously, too. And so it’s a habit, and we have to break her habit, and it’s very hard.

So we bring her home. She nursed after the procedure. I have to say, like, the room they set me up in, it was fantastic. It’s, you know, you have your feeding chair, you had the boppy, you had diapers, water, lactation cookies, the works.

It would I was very impressed by that. So she nursed after, and then I got her home, nursed her again, and then the numbing started to wear off a couple hours later. And I will say she did not eat from that last feeding of 2 PM until, like, almost 11 o’clock at night.

Exercises to do with your baby after a tongue tie procedure

She she wouldn’t even nurse because of the pain. So and just so you know, they will give you exercises to do with the baby, and you need to do them. Now they showed us the exercises on her that day, and the dentist said he’s like, okay. Don’t do anything tonight. He’s like, she’s spent.

Like, don’t worry about it. Don’t do anything till the next day.

And there’s a line, like, where you need to do the exercises, but you don’t wanna overwork the child either because they’re small. Right? And at the end of the day, imagine yourself, like, if you worked out this morning, and then it was a really tough workout, 45 minute workout, you know, and you’re doing the legs.

And then I said to you, okay. Later this afternoon, you’re also gonna do another 45 minute leg workout. You’re not gonna do upper body, you’re not gonna go for a walk, you’re you’re gonna do the same muscles. Your body would be super fatigued.

[00:20:04]: So it’s the same thing with babies, like, you can overwork them. And so, he would he made us very aware of that.

So this procedure was done on a Thursday. Okay? Friday now mind you, I have to go back to work. Okay? Now my bosses are fantastic, they’re supportive, they’re all the things, But ultimately, like, I need to get this going in the next few weeks, because season starts and it’s just full bore. Right? And so we start experimenting with bottles.

She she’s not taking them. She’s still having a hard time because she doesn’t know what to do.

Expert Guidance from a Lactation Consultant

• Block Feeding Error I was practicing block feeding, which was confusing her body and affecting milk production.
• Using Certain Collection Cups I was advised against using particular collection cups that might lead to an imbalance in milk composition.
• Nighttime Attire I was wearing inappropriate pajamas at night, which could inadvertently stimulate milk production (she was advised to wear a bra instead).

So I decided to call another lactation specialist sim. So that one was a feeding specialist, this one’s a lactation specialist RN. And let me tell you, the amount of information that I learned in that two and a half hours blew my mind. And I felt so ignorant and so stupid. I’m serious. I really did. Like, you thought, alright.

These adjustments were part of the learning curve I experienced while managing my baby’s feeding challenges post-procedure.

[00:22:16]: Like, I exclusively breastfed my baby, you know, for 2 years. And, like, this one I’ve been feeding no problem, blah blah blah. Although, I did have mastitis last week from stress.

But I know how to heal that within 24 hours without antibiotics.

I just felt so dumb. I felt like I was doing everything wrong, and I essentially was doing a lot of things wrong. So I tend to have an oversupply. This is just giving an example.

I don’t really struggle to produce. So what I tend to do is I block feed, meaning, I do just the right side, then I do just the left side. She’s like, yeah. No. You can’t do that. She’s like, you just can’t do that because your body is so confused.

She’s like, you maybe were able to do that with your toddler because you are at home. She’s like, but if you’re going to work and you’re gonna be pumping 2, 3 times a day, she’s like, you can’t do that because you can’t feed from one side and then feed from both.

She’s like, you have to constantly feed from both. I’m like, okay. Maren, you’re doing that wrong. Then, like, my toddler came running out with one of my ladybug Hakka collection cups. She’s like, yeah, you can’t use those anymore. She’s like, you use those? I said, yeah. She’s like, yeah, no. She’s like, I want if you’re nursing, I want the other side covered.

Because I didn’t know this. I swear, like, my children are thriving. They’re like off the charts, you know, with all the things. But apparently, I’ve been doing this wrong. She’s like, you don’t want the collection code.

She’s like, because first of all and I didn’t know this. Like, she’s like, you’re tending to get a lot of fore milk, and you’re not getting a ton of the hind, which is the fat the thicker milk. I was like, yeah.

I know that, but she’s like, you’re exposing it to air. Yes. If you have your Ron, you’re you’re gonna leak a little bit, but not to the extent that you do if you’re exposing the breast to air. She’s like, if you expose it to air, it’s just gonna keep going and going and going as long as you’re feeding.

She’s like, and then what happens is, if you’re not feeding from that side, because that’s what I wasn’t doing. She’s like, your body is, like, making milk ready to go, and then it’s like, what the heck?

Like, well, where’s this milk gonna go? And so you leave yourself to be more susceptible to all the things, mastitis, clogged ducts, etcetera. I was like, okay. I was doing that wrong.

[00:24:52]: She’s like, what do you wear to bed? She’s like, do you just wear like a t shirt to bed? I’m like, yeah. I mean, it’s like she knew the answers that I was gonna say. She’s like, yeah, you can’t do that.

She’s like, you need to be wearing a bra 247. Obviously, not like a bra bra to bed. You know, no underwire or anything like that. I don’t gosh. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore a bra with underwire.

[00:25:12]: Anyway, but something that’s loose, but is a barrier, so to speak, in between me and the T shirt or my pajamas that I’m wearing. She’s like, because what happens is as you’re tossing and turning, which we all inevitably do at night, you’re stimulating your breasts because it’s feeling like this motion. Right?

You know, it thinks it’s a baby. Like, your body is smart, but it’s like, not that smart. It thinks it’s a baby, and so it starts preparing milk. She’s like, so I bet you wake up with circles around your breast, like, where you were leaking in the middle of the night. I’m like, mhmm. Yep.

[00:25:52]: How’d you know? So guess what? Back go on the, nursing bras, like, the light ones, you know, like, they’re almost like they’re, Larkin, I think I have. Anyway, they’re really comfortable. So, I was doing that wrong.

So, I want you to know, like, I understand that so much of this has a learning curve. And the hardest learning curve is to sit there and hear your kid cry. It’s hard. And what I will tell you is she went through all the bottles that I have. And when I tell you I can open a Target store with the amount of bottles, because everyone’s got an opinion.

Maren Crowley [00:26:32]: Oh, this bottle worked for my kid. This bottle worked for my kid. This oh, no. You should do this one. And I will say, she left it open to 3 different I mean, when I tell you I had over a dozen different bottles, I I’m being legit, like, you name it. You name it, I had it. And I’m only going to tell you the 3 that she narrowed it down to. And I’ll do it in order of like 3, 2, 1.

Como Tomo

And the reason why she allowed that one was she’s like, look, if she puts it on top of her tongue, we’ll let her have this one because we can kind of let her cheat. Because it’s made of that silicone, you can squeeze it and, like, help her get the milk out to get the proper suction going. So that was number 3.

The Phillips Advent.

The reason for that one was she likes the length of it, but also it flanges both the top and the bottom properly.

Her number 1, and this is the one that we eventually I’ll get to that, got her on, is the Dr. Brown’s. Now before she came, I tried the Dr. Brown’s, and she would gag and gag and gag.

And the reason for that was she is not used to having the nipple on that back 2 thirds of her tongue where it needs to be. And she’ll she’ll do that, you know, and cough. But that’s where it needs to go.

Advice From The Lactation Consultant on Storing Bottles and Milk

And so many of the other nipples are too short. They don’t get back there properly. So I will be returning a ton of them. The other thing that she told me is that she watched where I was storing it. She’s like, look, you know, I like what you’re doing, because what I do is I lay them flat.

She said, do not ever put more than 4 ounces in those bags. She’s like, and I want you to measure it from your pump. I use the Spectre 2, which she was very pleased that I use the Spectre 2.

She’s like, I want you to make sure that you measure 4 ounces. She’s like, that’s what she’s getting. She’s not gonna get more than that for a bit. So you gotta keep her at 4 ounces. Don’t go by what’s on the back.

Okay. This is what I want everyone to hear. So the where my milk is stored, and I’m gonna have to move it, I gotta tell my husband, is that’s he’s better at organizing. The reason why I’m not just to know me, still love me.

Like, my brain’s in 5 different places at once, and therefore, sometimes all of my you know what is in 5 different places at once. But the reason why she wants me to move the milk is because right now, it’s on the top shelf. We have a split fridge.

So, like, our freezer’s underneath, you pull the drawer out, and then that has another drawer that you can pull in and out, and then you have, like, the containers underneath.

She was like, I don’t want it on top because you’re opening this freezer a couple of times per day, and you’re therefore exposing it to more warmth. Not that it’s gonna melt, but, like, she’s just like, I just want it to be in a deep freeze.

I don’t wanna chance it that it’s if it’s melting or whatever. So I do have to move that. So if you have your milk right now in your freezer that is getting open and closed multiple times per day, you either want to get it out of there and put it in a freezer that barely opens in your garage or wherever you put it, or if you don’t have that option, you need to put it underneath, like, it needs to be deep into your freezer, so that it’s not getting exposed to that air.

So that was another thing. I was like, I’m doing that wrong. The other thing that she wants me to test, and we we kinda tested it last night, is she’s like, listen.

I don’t think this is the issue, but you need to make sure that your milk doesn’t taste metallic or soapy, because it could be a taste issue. Because that was the other thing too, as I was giving her cold milk.

And the reason for that was, a, with the tongue tie, like, trying to help her with the ease of the pain. And we had tried warm milk, like, a month or so ago, and she didn’t like it. So I was like, okay, you know, maybe she’ll like cold.

Well, you don’t wanna give your baby cold milk. And the reason for that is their bodies have to work that much harder to warm up the milk, and so they’re actually burning calories more calories, I should say, on top of the feed. So, like, when they feed, they’re burning calories.

Right? But, also, if they’re trying to warm up cold, cold milk, they’re burning more calories to do that. And it’s you’re making your baby overwork.

So she was like, never give her anything cooler than room temperature. I want you to warm it up. She gave me I have a new bottle warmer. She saw the one that I had from my toddler. She’s, like, yeah, throw that out. She’s, like, she had me order the Advent pacifiers because of the nipples.

[00:32:22]: So let me explain about that, because I’ve been a big proponent of the Nini and Co pacifier. And she’s like, listen, once she gets this down, the Nini and Co pacifier will be fine. She’s like, honestly, she probably won’t even really need a paci.

She’s like, but she needs a paci that will go further back and has structure to it. Because if she doesn’t have that, all she’s gonna do is go chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, which is what she does on the ninny. Same thing, I was recommended, oh, get the ma’am’s. Get the the ma’am’s passy. No.

Do not get that. She’s like, that’s the same thing. All they do is chomp, chomp, chomp. They don’t have to actually work to keep that pasi in, they just chomp down on it because of the way it’s shaped.

She’s like, you need something that has that long, round, bulbous nipple on it. So, new pasies, new bottle warmer, new way of storing our frozen milk, and this was the one that really blew my mind. So I’ve always been taught that you should pace feed your baby.

Pace feed the baby. Meaning, 1, 2, pause. 1, 2, pause. Right? She said, no. She’s like, this baby is going to you’re going to tilt the bottle for her, because we need to keep her tongue activated back there, and we need her to see, okay, by me suckling and pulling, I’m getting milk.

Because otherwise, if you’re pausing, you’re letting it rest, all the things, all she’s gonna do is wanna chop. So essentially, what she does is she’ll chomp, she’ll express milk, it shoots to the back of the throat throat. She hates it, like, freaks her out.

I mean, it would freak all of us out. And so then, she’s not effectively feeding. Ergo, she won’t effectively nurse either. And trust me, I don’t want her chomp, chomp, chomping once she gets teeth.

So she has her sitting up. You can practice this at home. Put the baby doll, or if you wanna practice, on your knees. You hold the baby upright.

Feeding Technique for New Parents: “You put the c around their neck to support them. You have your index finger and your thumb around either side of their cheek, and then your middle finger is underneath their chin to help support that.”

She’s like, listen, she’s gonna feed faster on this bottle than she will nursing, but you’re still gonna stick with the slow flow nipple. She’s like, don’t don’t move up with that. So I was very surprised at that information.

So when she the reason why I say you have to power through the crying, and we had to have a talk with my dad because he’s like, you know, the sensitive one, like, hates to see her cry.

[00:35:48]: But he’s gonna be feeding her, so it it is what it is. She said she knows how to work you. She’s smart. She knows, hey. This is a new skill, and I really don’t feel like doing it, because I can do it the other way. You’re just not letting me. And so we sat there and had to hear her cry and scream for at least 15 minutes. It probably was closer to 20.

[00:36:16]: She ended up exhausting herself, and then she did it. She did it right. Like she basically was dream feeding with the bottle properly. So she can do it, she just doesn’t want to do it.

And you have to teach her you don’t have an option. And the amazing thing that I was so impressed with Kristen is first of all, she has a fantastic personality. But she was talking to her the whole time, and encouraging her. I’m like, hey, like, I know this stinks, but like, you’re smart.

[00:36:46]: You can figure this out. Like, you can do like, literally, that’s how she’s talking to her. And I love that she was talking to her like I talk to my kids. That was so important to me.

Like, she she wasn’t using baby talk. She was, you know, she was literally talking to her like she was a little adult, and that’s how I speak to my children. I believe that that’s why they speak the way they do. Well, my baby doesn’t speak that way yet, but you know what I’m saying.

[00:37:12]: My toddler, she’s 2 going on 22. So was it hard to witness? Yes. But it was reassuring because she knows how to do it. And she explained to me, she said, listen, if we went through all that crying and screaming, and she still was making, like, noises, then that would tell me we have some, like, occupational therapy to go through.

She’s like, but she’s not doing that. She’s just straight up putting up a wall saying, I don’t wanna do this. But, obviously, you don’t have a choice, sweetheart, like, it’s happening.

So a couple of things that she wanted me to focus on, on top of what I just discussed with you, was feeding her every 3 hours to establish some kind of semblance of a schedule or routine.

Navigating Nighttime Feedings and Proper Positioning: Insights for New Mothers

1. Adjusting feeding schedules as the baby grows
2. Managing nighttime feedings and their impact on milk supply
3. The importance of proper positioning during breastfeeding

So that way I can return to work. She doesn’t want her going, you know, 2 hours here, 4 hours there, because quite frankly, like, I have to block off my book to go pump and all the things. And so I need some sort schedule, and she was like, listen, as long as you’re within a half hour, either before or after, you’re fine.

Like, the baby takes a bottle at 2, and you don’t pump till 2:30. She was like, it’s fine. She said, I just want it around that area. So, how that works though is it’s from the start of one feeding to the next. So if she starts feeding at 3, the next feeding will begin at 6.

Because the goal is for her to feel satiated and be able to make it that full interval while providing an appropriate amount to make sure we’re protecting her weight. So, in the bottle, she’s getting 4 ounces, and now when I’m home and I’m breastfeeding, I am gonna be feeding her from both sides.

Burping her in between to, like, kinda wake her up again to go on to the second side for dessert, if you will. And same thing when you have the bottle, you’re down with 2 ounces, you burp her, and then you finish the next 2 ounces.

Now, she’s turning 3 months this week, so she’s starting to have those longer stretches. So we’re probably gonna have to adjust this soon. Yay. But the longest stretch that she should go at night is no more than 6 hours.

So for example, last night, fed her at 9:30. This morning, I woke up at 3:30 because my body is kinda telling me, hey, it’s ready. She was fast asleep. I probably could have let her sleep, but I don’t wanna be in a position where I’m, a, losing my supply, or, b, making myself susceptible to mastitis again and all the things.

So I gave her a dream feed at 3:30, and then she was up again, at, like, 6 to feed. So not quite 3 hours, but we’re close.

The other thing is making sure that her positioning when she nurses is proper. Having her essentially elevated with her head and letting her body dangle, making sure now, I’m not, like, always a big fan of, like, using breastfeeding pillows, but, like, we have to make sure that we’re both comfortable.

And that way, she is able to move her mouth the way that she wants. So, that’s just another example. Like, my toddler, I love the side lying position with her. Like, that’s how we would nurse all the time because we especially since we cosleep.

And how she was explaining it to me, and she’s like, she can’t do that because if you think about, like, what if I asked you to lay down on your side and drink water? Like, how difficult would that be for you?

She’s like, you have to remember, like, it’s the easiest when we’re all just sitting upright and straight. So getting your baby into that position is key. Obviously, having a stimulating environment so that they’re not too sleepy, although she finally took the bottle when she would stop fighting and was falling asleep, so you figure that out. And then really just sticking to a schedule, you know.

[00:41:21]: If if you’re feeding at 7, it’s gonna be 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 4 AM, repeat. And you wanna not only be consistent with the time, but you wanna be consistent with the volume so that she knows how much milk she’s getting, and it’s adequate for her needs.

So we’re gonna begin with 4, and then as she gets older, we’ll up it to, like, 5, possibly 6. Right? The other thing that she really wants me to focus on when nursing was making sure because now it is released, and she’s she was very complimentary to the release. She’s like, wow. It looks great. Fantastic. Nothing’s reattached.

And that’s what the pediatric dentist told me. He’s like, listen, if you do a full release and you’re doing these exercises, he’s like, when I see you in 2 weeks, that’s gonna tell me everything. Like, it’s not gonna he’s like, I don’t wanna tell you it’s a 100% not gonna reattach.

He’s like, but it most likely isn’t. If it’s gonna reattach, it’s gonna reattach in those first two weeks. And he’s like, it will reattach if you’re not doing the exercises.

So the exercises that we do with her are essentially we take the top lip, we get, and we take it and we roll it up to her nose twice, and then we sweep underneath her tongue. We do that twice.

And we do that, like, 5 times a day. That’s it. It’s nothing crazy. I have some friends that are doing, like, all these different exercises. The dentist was like, you don’t need to. Even this lactation consultant, she’s like, everything looks perfect.

She’s like, it’s just a matter of you have to force her to take this bottle because she will try to manipulate you into not doing it. So, anyway, I’m gonna keep you updated.

Like I said, I’m gonna do a part 2 on this because I truly believe there’s a strong correlation between MTHFR, the genetic mutation, and tongue ties. But I just wanted to share with you my experience, let you know that I stand with you if you’ve gone through this. I know how it feels to kinda be unheard and, like, know something’s not right, and people are like, work through it. No. Like, it’s it’s tough.

So I will be sure to share all my resources with you in the show notes of what I’m using. And please always reach out to me with questions. You know you can find me on Instagram in the DMs.

I’m always there. My handle is @macrowley. You can email me, [email protected]. And I would love to continue this conversation with you, and I appreciate you always tuning in and supporting me. The messages and love bombs I got leading up to her procedure were just really thoughtful, and I just wanna let you know I’m very appreciative of that.

I’ll catch you on next week’s episode, and I hope you have a great week. Thanks for listening to the If You Know You Know podcast. I hope this episode resonated with you.

Links for episode

Dr. Brown’s Glass Bottles: https://amzn.to/40ljq8x

Bottle Warmer: https://amzn.to/4eLjCSJ

Philips Avent Soothie: https://amzn.to/4eUlIzR

Philips Avent Glass Bottle: https://amzn.to/48iSEzk

Comotomo Bottles: https://amzn.to/48kCHZv