What Are Your Kids Really Learning from You?

Today’s podcast episode is just like my laptop browser and my brain, quite frankly. Lots of tabs open, but I promise they’ll all come together in the end.

Okay?

As you probably know from my social media, I have pulled back on being on social media, okay. And I’ve really been taking advantage of being at home with my two girls for the off season and in my professional golf life. So it’s the off season, I don’t have to go back full time until the fall.

And yeah, I’m still doing my UGC work and promoting my course. But, like, as far as being on social, if I’m posting like 10 stories a day, which if you know, you know, is like nothing, that is a lot for me.

There are certain days where I’ll only put up three and it’s like, who is this person? In fact, some people are like, are you okay? But I’ve really made this major shift in the last, gosh, year and a half to really pull back from being so present on social media and quite frankly, like, not as present with my family.

And I wanted to do a 180 shift with that more time with especially my little ones now, although I rarely admit, like, it is very difficult for me not to work. In fact, my husband always says to me, are you ever not thinking about, like, you know, B roll content or, you know, a UGC job or how you can help this person and pitch to this company? Like, it’s very hard for me to turn my brain off.

It’s really, really hard. Like, full disclosure. But I am, I’m trying, okay? I’m definitely trying to be more and more present because I can’t believe how fast time has gone and my baby is actually going to be a year old next week. It’s crazy.

And I get caught up in my feels a lot. And I’ve been actually posting a lot on social media, nostalgic reels of her leaving the hospital or, you know, of me going on vacation with the girls and things like that.

Because I’ve really come to terms with like, this season that we’re in, while it is very short, it. It’s not going to happen again.

You know, we, we don’t have plans to, you know, have, have more children. We’re blessed with the two that we have. And I love it. But you know, you have to appreciate like, okay, this, this could be the last time that, you know, we’re seeing the first time walking or the first time that they’re saying mama or all the things like these first off are important.

And it’s just as important for the baby as it is for our toddler. And I will say, though, navigating two babies three and under is no joke. And it really makes you appreciate those pre toddler years where you thought life was tough and I hate being the, you know, just you wait gal.

But like, whoa, I get it, right? Like, toddlers are spicy and mine definitely has me on my toes.

The biggest challenge that I’ve found so far is that your 3 year old can be 3 going on 13 one minute and then the next they’re throwing a fit because you cut their sandwich wrong. And if you think those reels, like, if you’re not in that season yet and you see those reels on Instagram and you’re like, oh my gosh, that can’t be real.

They’re just creating that for content. They’re exaggerating. You obviously have not unlocked this next level of motherhood yet. Just wait. Kidding. Kind of like, I’m serious and I’m not like, serious about the. Just you wait.

Because that is super annoying when people say that. But what I have been trying to tell myself every time I grow impatient, because it’s inevitable. It happens. We definitely get on sensory overload when that moment rises up. I say, Maren, look down at her hand and I look at my toddler’s hand and I see the size of it.

And it, it’s like a total gut check, reality check. Because my toddler truly is someone you can have a full on adult conversation with more on that in a bit. But the reality is like, she’s tiny, she’s still a toddler.

And like, speaking of those adult conversations, like, I didn’t realize how fast and soon you have to have them. So, you know, when you see people who are parents and you know, I, I was late to the game, so to speak, on having kids.

But like, you kind of think about like your youth and that’s the other thing too. Like, I’m a millennial, right? And how kids are growing up now is very different than how I grew up or, you know, you grew up, you remember those conversations with your parents, but you don’t remember having them that young.

Right. Like, certain things, I feel like everything has sped up and you, you Feel like, oh, well, I had X, Y, z conversation at 10 or 13.

Like, that’s. I have time, you know, but that’s not reality anymore. And so I didn’t really quite understand that when things come up, obviously I have to address them. And it’s no secret that I’m not your typical mom. Okay? I literally found out a few weeks ago that Bluey is a girl. Okay?

Like, I didn’t know that because we don’t watch those shows in my house. Like, we don’t watch Bluey. We don’t watch Paw Patrol. We don’t watch Ms. Rachel.

Okay?

Now, before you think I’m going to go into, like, this holier than thou and say, like, we don’t do any screen time in our house, like, that’s not the truth.

Okay? My toddler can sing you the jingle to Ozempic.

She knows how to work. So obviously she sees cable television is the point I’m trying to make with that. The news, right? Or, you know, NBA games or golf. Like, she understands that, you know, the TV is definitely on.

Um, she knows how to work an iPhone. She can say on demand into the. The remote or get to YouTube. Although she can’t go any further than saying in the remote.

And that’s on purpose. That is definitely intentional. She loves looking at photos and videos of our family on our phones. So I swear she can work an iPhone better than my parents. Her favorite person on television is Guy Fieri.

I have to say, guys, Grocery Games has become one of my personal favorite shows. And when it comes to music, it’s the same thing. Like, as a family, we’re going to our first Brandon Lake concert together this fall.

But both of my girls love Morgan Wallen. And, yes, Kendrick Lamar, too. Like, you know, his song TV Off has saved us many car rides of crying and screaming, especially from my little one. Oh, my gosh, it’s. It’s crazy. I can’t even begin to tell you. Like, I wish I could tape it, but half the time I’m streaming Spotify, like, through my car, and I can’t do both. It’ll turn off the song, and it’s just not worth it.

You just have to take my word for it that the kid goes ham. Like some kids fall asleep to marry had a little lamb. Mine stops crying and starts dancing to they Not Like Us, so bless you, Kendrick. Kendrick Lamar is a godsend for our family. I will say they do listen to edited versions, though, so. I’m not a savage, y’all. Okay?

But the point of this is living the life like this has. It’s created this weird gray area, right, where I’m trying to keep my girls young and innocent as long as possible, but I also don’t have them living in a bubble. Right?

I don’t believe in extremism on anything on either side of the coin or in any facet of life, because I believe that is where you create a really big problem for someone. And that’s just running rampant, quite frankly, in our culture, from politics to nutrition to all the other things that I’m going to talk about today.

And it came up because my toddler loves Avicii, okay? We have a very eclectic playlist, my husband and I. And one day we were in the car, and so she asked me if Avicii had any new songs coming up.

Like, for example, she knows that we were so pumped when Morgan’s new album came out. Or Brandon Lake had his new album come out this spring as well.

And we’re, like, counting down. Like, she kept saying to me, like, is it out yet? Is it out yet? Right? Especially since they kept, like, dropping singles here and there. I’m like, no, not yet. But I had to explain to her that Avicii wouldn’t be making any songs and they wouldn’t have any new ones coming out because he wasn’t alive.

Which she then went on to ask, is he in heaven? And I said I wasn’t sure. That was a conversation that he had to have with Jesus. And then she went on to ask, like, well, why did he die? And now I’m not one to fluff off answers to my kids, like, at all. I shoot it to them straight.

And I think that’s really important. I think we do our children a disservice if we ignore them or make up some fugazi answer or whatever. Our children are inquiring, and they’re precocious, but they deserve to know the truth.

You know, it doesn’t serve them to ignore the question or try to spin it. So I told her. I said, he made poor decisions. Now, I’m not going to go in and tell her that I think that there’s a big conspiracy, that he was onto human trafficking and, you know, all the things that I really do believe, but ultimately the story is that he died of an overdose, right?

So that’s what I’m going to go with, because, you know, maybe we’ll have that conversation when she’s older and she can really see my tinfoil hat shine. But I said, you know, he made poor decisions.

And then she says, well, what kind of poor decisions, Mama? And I said, he hung out with the wrong friends and he was drinking too much and partying, which leads to bad things happening. And ultimately he died from it.

Now, listen, she’s not even three and a half. Like, did she have a major response to this at the time when I told her no, she was just like, oh, but trust and believe. It was duly noted. My response to her was duly noted.

And how do I know this? Because she watches everything. Now, I understand that every parent, like, thinks that their kid is ABC xyz, and, you know, the sun and the moon rise and set by them, and they think they’re, like, the smartest kid in the world.

But my child truly has this unique gift. And, you know, when I noticed it, I was just like, oh, that’s kind of, like, weird, you know, and my mom, who is a teacher, you know, was a teacher for over 45 years and has taught, oh, my gosh, you know, thousands of kids.

She noticed it. And then other people started noticing it, and my pediatrician noticed it. So essentially, my toddler has an idactic memory. So. An idactic memory, that’s probably what you would know.

It’s very similar to photographic memory. She has the ability to vividly recall images, sounds, objects in great detail, like, places we’ve been. And literally, it can be one time, like, very few instances of exposure.

It’s essentially having, like, a mental photograph of something. So, you know, people with idactic memories, they can, like, see a picture or a page in their mind, and even after it’s gone, like, they see it one time, they can recall fine details, colors, shapes, exact placement with very high accuracy.

Sometimes they can describe or draw it from memory. Like, you know, it’s. It’s wild.

And, you know, a couple examples would be, you know, this. She did it twice in one setting. We were having our usual lunch together. We were out at one of our favorite places, and this older gentleman came in and he had those hookah, hookah, hoka, hoka. That’s what it is. You know, those big boat running shoes on. And I didn’t even notice. And she just says, mommy, Auntie Donna has those shoes.

And I look, and sure enough, boom. Then this is probably about, like, 10 minutes later, she looks out the window, and there was a young guy wearing a Make America Healthy hat. She’s like, mama, you have that hat.

When you walk around the neighborhood, she recognizes neighbors, cars. She’ll say, like, that’s Stephanie’s car. And beyond that she’ll, she can see. Let’s just use like, you know, like, she won’t just like recognize a brand model of a car, like Mercedes, Subaru, like whatever, right? She will recognize that it is the same model that you have or I have. Or she’ll be like, oh, that’s like your car, mama.

Like wild stuff. Okay, now it has been sad, right, because I’ve obviously researched this and looked this up because I’m like, it’s like my kid, like Rainman, like, what is this? And true idactic memory is extremely rare. It is most common in young children because their brains process and store sensory input very differently than adults.

You know, the, the brain doesn’t stop growing until you’re 27, right? Like crazy. All that gray matter. And in adults, it is like very controversial whether anyone truly has it or not. Like, what people often call photographic memory might instead just be like excellent memorization skills, you know, or strong recall. But with children it is most common, but only about 2 to 10% of young kids actually display this skill.

And it usually fades as they grow and they develop like language based memory strategies and stuff like that. So she’s only going to be three and a half. Time will only tell. But the point is, like, she has this skill.

And I’m like, oh my gosh, how am I going to like, make sure I nurture this gift that she has? So now that I gave you a breakdown of all that, like, circling back, my husband and I, like, we’ve definitely changed our lifestyle in our 30s versus our 20s.

Okay? 20S were like, whoa, okay. And there are times I literally look back and I’m like, thank you, God. Like, you saved me. Like, I’m not even, I’m not even kidding. Like, there are certain instances, I’m like, okay, God, you, you were definitely with me.

And our lifestyle has done even more of a 180 since having children. You know, Let me put you this way, okay? Forget 20s. Like that.

Like I said, those are like God moments where God was with you and made sure you woke up the next day.

But pre kids, we, we went to Napa and Hawaii and we, we joined a wine club, okay? But we didn’t remember doing it until the shipment showed up at our house when we got back two weeks later.

Like, whereas now last week we attended a Morgan Wallen concert and like having a couple drinks, that was like a big night out. And it was the latest night we had seen in four years, AKA like pre children, like pre pregnancy.

So when I tell you this story. Like, keep that information in mind. So we were playing the pool with both my daughters, and my husband decided to have a high noon. Now, my daughter understands what is an adult drink. Like, what she can have versus what she can’t have. You know, she’s very, very precocious, very inquisitive. Half the time, like, I’m really trying to reel her in and pull her in because she grabs things. Oh, my gosh.

Like this one. She loves guacamole. And we had sushi one time, and without asking, she grabbed a big ball of wasabi off of my husband’s plate, thinking that that was avocado, because she saw avocado on the sushi, right?

And I just. I’m sitting across from her. My husband didn’t see that she had grabbed it. And I just said, Nick. And next thing you know, like, her face. I mean, I don’t like wasabi.

So what 3 year old likes wasabi? And that was a learning lesson. But, like, you know, as a parent, I have concerns because she does want to try everything. And she is so inquisitive and. And teaching her kid, like, hey, you can’t try everything, right?

Like, because actions have consequences. I mean, you know, and then my crazy brain, like, she’s three, and I’m like, oh, my God, what about, like, drugs and alcohol, you know? Right? Like, relax, Maren. She’s still only only three. But later that night when we were having dinner, my husband decided to have a beer. Now, having two drinks is, like, beyond rare in our house.

But you know what my daughter said, dad, why are you having that? You already had one of your drinks. I swear to you, my husband and I almost fell out of our chairs like homegirls counting drinks.

But more importantly, like, she’s seeing and learning what is like, quote unquote, acceptable versus what’s not. And she’s learning what is good behavior or common. And that was a very big parenting moment for the two of us. You know, just like she sees us working out daily.

Or if your child sees you reading books, like, you know, she comes in and sees us working out, she wants to do it, too. She was lifting weights with my husband yesterday. You know, she loves going to the library because she sees both my parents, who she’s with, you know, more than half the year in with her, like, child care situation and then me, like, we read books, which is why I really try to tell my husband he reads as well, but he reads on his phone.

And I’m like, she doesn’t understand that like you’re reading a book on your phone, right? Like she understands going to the library and picking out books and turning the pages, et cetera.

So like think about it. Like they see that behavior and they want to emulate it. But if your child sees that like you never move your body or you always have a phone in your hand, guess what?

They too will become sedentary and you know, addicted to screens, like they’re sponges and watch our every move. And I talked about this when I was on my friend Kayla Banna’s podcast the other day, how that’s why I love UGC so much.

Because versus when I was in direct sales, because in direct sales I was on my phone so much. But it didn’t always equate to a return on my investment, like my time, right?

Because I could be putting out content in hopes that someone would click it, but maybe they didn’t, right? Or I could be pouring into a team call and like leading from the front and all the things, giving up, you know, every Tuesday night at 8 o’ clock and the downline, you know, may have a good month. It may not. Like you weren’t in control of that.

Whereas with UGC, if I’m on my phone and I’m editing and I’m taking pictures or whatever I’m doing right, essentially creating content, I know I’m getting paid. And my daughter understands because a, she’s, you know, involved.

She loves to get the packages at the door. She loves, likes to say what’s this job, mommy? Or there’s sometimes there’s products for her that companies are sending, like so it’s a gift for.

She understands that that’s work. Whereas when I was just on my phone shaking my Energize, you know, like she didn’t get that right. And I’m fortunate that I’ve made this shift in who I am and in my business, like with my kids being very young, because I did so much of that grunt work. And that’s what it is folks.

Like I did all that grunt work of like I said, the team calls this the social media posts, the all of the things, the travel to the annual summits. I did all that before I had kids. And I think about these women who did it in the most pivotal years of their kids’ life and like missed out on it and, and like, quite frankly, like created some really poor habits that their children learn from and are copying and duplicating.

Anyway, that was kind of a tangent, but it’s, it’s true. So they watch our moves, right? And that leads me to my next part. You know, about, like, say, direct sales, because one of my good friends brought this up and she said, you know, I’ve noticed this and I would love for you to talk about it on your podcast.

And I always love hearing from you guys. So if there is something that’s on your heart and you want, you know, just any kind of thought or feeling or premise or conversation to have a more of a platform, so to speak, you know, that it can reach people and create more dialogue, please reach out to me because I love having these conversations with you.

But she brought up about how MLM women, so network marketing, women, direct sales, whatever, you know, tagline you want to give them, it’s all the same. They’re very similar to mommy wine culture.

And when she said that, I really took pause because I’m sure you’re very familiar with toxic mommy wine culture. So that’s, like, where kids are driving you. So. And say that you need to have a drink to get through the day. Or like, oh, is it five o’ clock yet? Like, oh, my kids are driving me crazy, you know, or whatever it may be, you know, they literally would get, like, wine glasses, like mommy’s drink or mommy’s juice.

Oh, first of all, I can’t stand any of that tchotchke stuff to begin with. Like, save. Save that decor for Hobby Lobby. Not into it. Thank you. And now there’s a new trend which is absolutely disgusting. My girlfriend Bethany was posting about today, and we were chatting about it. I didn’t even know this was.

She’s more involved, like, on TikTok than I am. And I guess it’s trending on there and now Instagram. Oh, my gosh. Where parents, they’re creating reels, you know, content and there. It’s disgusting.

I can’t even believe I’m addressing this on this episode, that this is, like, where we are in culture. But it’s showing parents committing suicide or, like, obviously pretending to commit suicide because they have to be at home with their kids all summer. So, like, imagine.

The text on the screen will say, like, point of view. Someone asks you how it is to be at home with your kids all summer. And, like, the woman has the. The string from, like, her blinds, like, around her neck.

Or I saw a dad with, like, clippers up. You know, he’s cutting bushes outside and he has, like, clippers up against his neck. Okay, what? Like, seriously, like, what is wrong with you people? Imagine, first of all imagine your child seeing that like 10 years from now. Like, like, that’s, that’s what you thought about it.

Like, and even if that’s not what you truly thought, you took the time to create content like that. Like, and now, like, think about today, some ass hat, like, posts that like, hey, like, what are your co workers think your job?

Like, that’s the content you’re, you’re putting out. Not to mention like all the people in the world who actually struggle with mental illness or have lost a friend or a family member to suicide. Like, who decided that this was a good idea.

Like, who’s like, yeah, let’s like make, make this a new trend. I mean, okay, you have one idiot that maybe does it, but then the rest of you jump on board. Like, you know how I feel about groupthink mentality. You know how I feel about sheep.

Like, I can’t handle that. So anyway, I can’t. I will just go hard in the paint with this.

This is so wrong. So the toxic mommy wine culture and like this like, whole idea of, you know, needing this, needing that, like, it has somewhat rebranded itself into the MLM culture.

And my friend brought up, like, you ever notice how all these ladies call their drinks? And I’m sure I did this at some point because when you’re in MLM culture, it is very cult like and you know, sometimes you just don’t want to think or you, you see someone who’s really successful doing it, you’re like, oh, so I should do it too, right? You know how I feel about network marketing. I’m out. I’m out.

I’m out. Please get out.

If you’re in it, if you’re toeing the line and thinking about doing it, just listen to all my podcast episodes and when I talk about this, please don’t do it.

But these women, they’re calling every single drink, they’re like rebranding it and selling it as their morning cocktail, their energized cocktail, their cortisol cocktail. Now, as a business minded person, I say like, hello, can we be a little more creative than that? Like, you know, like, seriously ladies, you’re not differentiating your product from everyone else.

Like, you’re just not. But also, words matter. Yes, cocktail can mean like a mixture of different things. But let’s be real. What do we really associate with? We associate with a mixed drink that’s typically made with one or more types of alcohol, and then you combine it with some fluffy stuff like juice, sodas, you know, agave or like fruit garnishes.

Okay, so what kind of message does it send to our children who hear us use this word so frequently? And I don’t care that you’re saying your morning cocktail or your cortisol cocktail and you’re talking about your freaking squeezed lemon water and your Himalayan salt. You’re still using the word cocktail, homie.

And every single day you’re saying this in your Instagram stories. And then we wonder why our kids possibly end up experimenting sooner than later or, you know, possibly, God forbid, something bad happening to them because of these poor choices.

And I’m not saying it’s the end all be all, but like the habits we display to our children, they have a lasting impact.

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which leads me to my last point that has really gotten my brain spinning lately. So I recently turned 39 and I, my hand to God can tell you that I’ve never had any Botox fillers or I mean, heck, I’ve never even dyed my hair.

And your girl’s getting some grays. Okay, they’re showing. My husband likes to point them out and say, stop stressing, you’re getting more grace. I’m like, well, I’m still behind you, homie, but now. And like, I want to preface this, like, to each their own. Okay, I’m just giving you some perspective. My perspective. My opinion.

Okay, first, I Know what it feels like to be insecure about something.

So while I haven’t gotten any of these procedures done, I did get microblading done to my eyebrows. I think it’s like almost 10 years ago, a little less because I don’t. I didn’t have them done for my wedding because I was so afraid, like, of what they would look like.

And I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to jack up my wedding photos. And I’m coming up on my 10 year wedding anniversary this year, so it was probably like nine years ago. And growing up, I was always insecure about the shape of my brows and the fact that like, my natural hair color is so light, especially in the summer, that even if, like, there is hair there, it doesn’t look like there is.

Not to mention, hello, I’m a millennial. So I have some natural scarring from over plucking.

And also chickenpox. I have some deep chicken pox marks. I have my ding dong, as my, my daughter will call it, like right in the middle of my forehead. And so in.

There are certain areas of my eyebrows that like hair just never grew back. And when Nick and I first started dating, mind you, this was almost 20 years ago. I remember his, yes, I’ll say it, like jealous ex girlfriend.

Now granted, he wasn’t always like, you know, being transparent. So we’ll give her a little grace and a little slack, okay? But she put up a instant message away message. Remember those things. So an AIM message about me. So she saw a photo of me, which, by the way, if I do say to myself, it was a pretty good photo.

She saw it on Facebook. She was obviously like, like any female would be doing, I get it, Facebook stalking me, like, who is this person? You know? And it was right at the height of like the end of summer, going into fall. So my naturally blonde hair was in full effect, like, blonde, blonde, blonde.

You know, I’m a golfer. I’m out in the sun all day every day, right? And so therefore, like, I had a lack of eyebrows and she put up. I can’t even believe, like, this level of cattiness I’m about to share with you.

But like I said, let’s extend grace because she wasn’t getting a full story either on, like, what was going on with her situation. But it will also give you a better understanding as to why I can literally count the amount of true girlfriends I have on one hand.

Because quite frankly, girls can just be vampires and they suck. She Said, where are her eyebrows anyway? Like, if she was, like, having, like, a. A conversation, right, like, with one of her girlfriends, and she, like, made that her instant message away message, okay?

So, like, I immediately knew her stalker ass was, like, checking me out on Facebook and saw my Facebook profile, okay? Like, I knew she was talking about me because once again, like, that was something that I recognized about myself, but it was never at the forefront. Like, I was never anything that, like, I got picked on, so to speak, as a kid.

I mean, I developed sooner than a lot of the girls in my class. Like, I remember having, like, being really chesty as a teenager, right? Like that. The whole eyebrow thing, that was an internal dialogue that I had. And she was just someone that freaking, you know, hit me with a 1, 2 on it.

And, you know, clearly, almost 20 years later, I can recall that feeling of hurt to this day. And that thought is what really pushed me, along with Chalene Johnson. Like, I have to say who I loved. Her microblading results. And she always educates you on, like, what she does and why she’s done it, right?

That what pushed me over the edge to getting them done. So I tell you that backstory because I need you to understand, like, I understand why people make enhancements, okay? I understand it.

I work in a work and live in one of the wealthiest counties in the country, okay, where women, quite frankly, get replaced for younger women by their spouses. Like, I want you to know I understand it, okay? But on the other side of it, I also know what it’s like to grow up around diet culture.

You know, I’m all too familiar with what Slim Fast tastes like. I just did a UGC job for a Thigh Master, and I had flashbacks to, like, Suzanne Summers playing in my house, you know, and that blue Thigh Master, you know, being in my basement, I know what it’s like to love someone who to this day, hardly ever shows their teeth in photos, even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with their smile.

Someone else who will never wear the color green because their spouse hated it and made sure they knew it and would make them return things that were green. Like, okay, like, you get the idea, right?

So because of that, I’m very particular about what I’m showing my daughters, as well as how I talk to myself, because I know they’re absorbing it all, and I want them to know they’re always enough.

And whether you have daughters or not, this is applicable to you because you may not have daughters, but you may have sons or you may have nieces. Or you may have nephews, right? And. And what’s going on with women and how they’re seeing themselves and quite frankly, how men view them is very important.

And I want my girls to know they’re always enough. And in our society and in our culture, it’s becoming more and more difficult. Like, you can’t go to the mall without seeing more than you should have.

Like a tween girl’s body, okay? Short shorts, crop tops galore. I mean, forget even tweens. Like, we over sexualize little girls with bikinis and crop tops in the toddler section. I mean, listen, you’re also talking to a girl who doesn’t have tattoos and doesn’t have ears pierced. So, like, I get it, I’m an outlier.

But like, we are really pushing the envelope in a lot of areas. And once you open that box, I don’t believe. I don’t want to say it can’t be closed, but I believe it’s going to take a lot of effort from all of us to retract what has been done.

And, you know, beyond that, like, whether it’s, you know, the holiday season or a birthday, like, these girls, these young girls, they want Sephora gift cards. Like, they’re all the rage.

Makeup tutorials. Get ready with me. Tutorials on TikTok. Like, that is what they’re consuming. Kids are literally using and spending money on products on their skin they don’t even need. Like, tell me what tween, okay, needs retinol, okay?

It just keeps growing and getting worse, right? Like, it starts with, you know, cute little eye masks and then it goes to that. And now it’s leading to younger and younger women getting injectables and enhancements.

And we all know, which is the main reason why I never dyed my hair, okay? And I’m still even now putting it off because I just don’t have the time to get touch ups and all that.

And quite frankly, like, yeah, they’re there, but it’s not like, oh my gosh, Maren, what are you doing? Like, you look like a crazy old lady. Like, once you start something, you can’t stop.

Like, I mean, you can, but like, let’s be real. You don’t, you know, you just. You just don’t. And what’s happening is, yeah, I mentioned about TikTok and on social media, like, AI is taking over, so people are striving for perfection that doesn’t exist.

So whether it is a young teenage girl using filters on Snapchat to look a certain way or people are following AI influencers as if they’re real people. Like, the culture is striving for perfection that doesn’t exist because it’s manufactured by technology.

My girlfriend Christina and I, we talked about this on the podcast episode I did with her. It’s a fantastic episode.

You go check it out. It was all about her time as a makeup artist and hairstyles in the beauty industry and, and how these advances in technology are impacting her business. Like, it’s. It’s really impacting hair and makeup artists because clients are bringing in photos of AI and they’re expecting the same results.

And it’s just. It’s not attainable, like, full stop. And, you know, things like preventative Botox, like starting in the mid-20s to early 30s, you know, it’s marketed as a wrinkle prevention strategy, but it’s been documented and observed that experts are telling and warning there is no solid clinical evidence that it truly stops wrinkles from forming.

Like, it’s just anecdotal observation.

And dermatologists are noting that a 28% increase in botulinum toxin procedures. So Botox, right. Among people in their 20s since 2010. So there’s a 28% increase in the last 15 years. And it’s driven largely by what social media video calls. Because you’re staring at one another’s face. And you can put filters on all the things, right?

Think about how many filters are available on Instagram stories and the beauty culture. So all this is documented in different, like, Cleveland Clinic studies, Vogue has talked about it. So just want to kind of give them credit for things like that. But my point is we see what it’s doing to adults.

So my question is, what will this do to our children? There’s always cause and effect. How is this going to impact their self esteem?

How can we as parents and forget parents, just people they look up to, right? How can we protect their innocence?

And why are we normalizing unattainable beauty standards for the next generation? Like, we’re literally creating a perpetual dissatisfaction cycle.

Like, kids are growing up thinking that legit, they need cosmetic interventions earlier to keep up. You know, I, like I said I was born, raised, you know, I live in Palm Beach County, but I, you know, so it’s a lot of the same people, quite frankly, that I grew up around on Long island, where a lot of people, when they turned 16, they were getting rhinoplasty, nose jobs.

That was like a rite of passage, you know, so we’re training these kids at an even younger age to grow up thinking that, like, they need these cosmetic interventions to keep up with the Joneses, or it’s just part of life.

And I certainly don’t want my beautiful little girls to feel dissatisfied with their natural looks earlier or have them even think, like, even if, as parents, we don’t say it out loud.

Like, because a lot of this is just observation that they have of what we’re consuming or, you know, what we do to ourselves or, you know, delete that photo. No, like, do this angle, right? Like, they are noticing that there’s a priority place on appearance and youth.

And I definitely don’t want those perceptions to lead to body dysmorphia or dependency on, like, constantly tweaking things in their appearance.

Now, of course, you are going to have women who say, you know, Botox makes them feel empowered and confident. And, you know, there are certain lines of work where it’s not just women, it’s men too, where they need to look younger because, you know, they’re getting replaced by younger people, right?

So they, they don’t want people to think that, you know, I’ve actually had this conversation with, you know, people that I teach where, like, they’re getting. Men are getting procedures done because they’re really skilled in what they do.

Let’s pretend that they’re, you know, a hedge fund broker, okay? But because they quote, unquote, looked older, it would make someone who wants to invest money not want to go with them because, like, you’re, you’re old. You don’t, you don’t get it.

You’re a dinosaur. So the, these men, too, are also trying to look younger just to feel relevant and, and be relevant. So people hire them. So this, it’s not just women, okay? You know, it is happening with men.

And I understand that there are certain jobs, so to speak, you know, service industry jobs, etc, where this is happening. I told you, like, I see men replacing women all the time in my area where I live, okay?

And I told you the reason why I finally took the plunge in getting my eyebrows microbladed, like, was because I felt, you know, I wasn’t enough.

(44:08)

So I’m not pointing fingers, but I’m just asking the question, is there a line between confidence and dependence?

I’ve chosen not to show my kids faces in my content, but even behind the camera, I think about how my choices shape their view of beauty. It’s important for us as parents to speak kindly to our bodies and treat our bodies as such. Affirmations are huge.

Even my in my little one soccer class, they reiterate the importance of being kind. That’s like the number one rule. And I tell my child her all the time, like how special she is and to never change for anyone. There’s only one her because when you have a baby come into the picture, they kind of regress, right? And they start, start doing the things that the baby does. And I try to tell her, I’m like, no, you’re you. You keep being you let her. You don’t have to act like her. You don’t have to talk like her. You be you. We love you for who you are.

And we need to make sure that our children’s confidence is rooted more in who they are as people and not their looks. Like their little eyes don’t just see what we do. Like they absorb what we value.

And we’re their parents, so we are their end all, be all, so to speak. So I ask you, can we embrace both self care and self acceptance and teach our kids to do the same?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Like, quite frankly, how do you talk about aging and beauty in your home?