Balancing Health, Wealth, And Parenthood With Authenticity And Grace

So this past week, I turned 38. And I put together a post on Instagram that was a culmination of personal experiences, challenges, and wisdom that I’ve gained, like and it’s hard for me to believe this over nearly 4 decades of life. And I thought I would do a deeper dive into my actual, like, major takeaways.

Because obviously, you only have so many so many slides that you can put on an Instagram carousel and only so many words you can put in a post. So I thought I would dive a little bit deeper on this episode.

Making Your Health a Top Priority

So first and foremost, the number one thing that I have learned and the reason why I say this is number 1 is because it’s the one thing that you can’t buy, and it can affect you at any stage of life, and that is your health and the fact that you need to make it a priority.

There’s literally nothing more important than your health. And I’ve definitely focused on it more so in the last decade.

You know, once I really kinda had a come to Jesus moment with how I looked and how I felt and physically, emotionally, all the things. And I turned it into a business, but it’s it’s something that I’ve seen take place my whole life and how when you don’t take care of yourself, there are consequences to that.

And for me, I don’t I don’t try to sugarcoat that if you are focusing on your health, that it’s gonna take time and it’s obviously gonna cost money. Like, you know, there are certain things that are for free. Like, I always say that walking is the most underrated form of exercise and it’s straight up free.

But there are certain things that you are gonna have to put aside extra money for to make sure that you are getting the best quality of so for example, water, you know, in our country, yeah, water is free to a certain extent, but like what’s the quality like?

And that’s a perfect example of we have a full water filtration system for our home that goes into everything from, obviously, our drinking water, what we’re cooking with, and, you know, drinking on a daily basis. But it’s what we’re washing our clothes with. It’s what we’re feeding our plants that we grow our cucumbers and our tomatoes and our herbs with.

It’s what we’re bathing in and shower you know, showering in every day, brushing our teeth with. So that’s an example of a sacrifice with your finances when it comes to your health. Obviously, time is another sacrifice.

And I don’t even like using the word sacrifice because it sounds so negative, but it’s it’s the reality of it.

Like, you have to choose one thing over the other. So, for example, that water filtration system at six grand. There’s other things that you could probably spend six grand on. Maybe it’s a vacation.

Maybe it’s part of a down payment to a new car, whatever. But you have to really look through your choices and decide, okay, am I gonna make this a priority? Same with your time.

You know, you could easily take that 30 to 45 minutes and dink around, you know, watching videos on your phone or whatever show you’re binging on Netflix, or are you gonna get up and move your body?

Now, yeah, there are ways to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. You can be on your treadmill, stay at home, and watch your show. I know plenty of people that do that. One of my dear friends, she actually listens, you know, she does all her audiobooks while she’s on her run.

So you can kinda multitask in a way, but you have to physically give up time in order to do so. And doing those two things of sacrificing the time and the money has really been a game changer for me, both personally.

It’s improved my health, both physically and mentally, and as well as my professional life. Because I built a business off of it. It helped improve my, you know, profession as a golf professional, obviously, more stamina.

And it carried over those habits that I instilled, they carried over to my family, which I am forever grateful for. Especially, you know, with my husband, it’s carried over to his golf game. So when you make that step, it it definitely has a trickle down effect.

So my biggest recommendations, well, if you’re gonna make this a priority is you have to do the following.

My Top Recommendations For Making Your Health a Priority

1 – Prioritize Sleeping and Follow a Consistent Schedule

You have to prioritize following a consistent sleep schedule.

Get make sure you you get some sort of device. I personally wear the WHOOP, which I love. And my husband has has that as well. I can’t recommend it enough to track your sleep, sleep is so underrated. Walking, once again, totally underrated. 30 minutes a day. And if you wanna, like, be extra with it, do weighted get a weighted vest. Do weighted walking.

2 – Focus on High Protein

Can’t tell you enough how important this is. As I’m entering, like well, not entering quite yet in the next few weeks, entering postpartum and and my whole postpartum journey.

Because once you have a baby, I feel like you’re inevitably on a postpartum journey, but and while pregnant, I prioritize high protein.

3 – Prayer and Meditation

I cannot recommend enough just taking 5 minutes or even less. Sometimes it is you don’t even need 5 minutes to focus on prayer and meditation, talking to your creator.

Obviously, I mentioned about into a water filtration system for your home. Ours does go with us if we were to ever move too, by the way.

So, like, make sure that when you’re doing that, that that is part of the package, that it doesn’t have to stay with the home.

4 – Lifting Heavy Weights – Ditch the Cardio

And my personal favorite, although I haven’t been doing much of it in this pregnancy because my form of lifting weights is lifting my almost 30 pound toddler.

But, typically and what I always recommend to, especially women, as we age, is lifting heavy weights 4 to 5 times a week. Like, ditch the cardio, replace that with walking, and focus on lifting and lifting heavy.

I know all the rage is like Pilates and yada yada yada. But, like, you need to lift heavy weights. Because as you age, you need to be able to support your body and your bones. So please lift heavy.

If you need help in these areas that I just mentioned, always reach out to me because this is obviously what I’ve been doing for a long, long time. The other thing that I really, you know, it’s like when you’re a kid, you can’t wait to be an adult.

5 – Financial Stability – Diversify Your Income

And then once you’re adult, you’re like, I’m done adulting. But money, right, and learning how to grow it and manage it, that has been huge for me. I have always had multiple streams of income since I started working.

So I started working at 17, and I I literally my some of my friends would tease me and, like, call me a Jamaican because I had so many different jobs. But I would. I mean, I wouldn’t just have one summer job.

Maren [00:08:40]: I would have 3. So I would be working for our local section, the for the PGA running golf tournament. I was doing a beverage cart 1 or 2 days a week. I was caddying on the weekends.

I’ve just always believed in having multiple streams of income because truly you never know what the world is going to go through.

And when, I mean, look at where we are now compared to 4 years ago. It’s night and day. And, you know, obviously, I do get political a lot in general.

But, like, if anyone were to contest this, I would just say, look at your 401 k. Look at the growth compared to 4 years ago. It’s minimal. So we know we don’t know what’s gonna happen. Right? I truly believe only God knows what’s gonna happen, but we need to do our best to be prepared for.

And while money doesn’t buy happiness, it makes your life a heck of a lot more comfortable. I always use the quote from Kanye West, from one of his songs. If you know it, you’re my spirit animal, but he’ll say in, in this line, he says, money’s not everything not having it is.

And ain’t that the truth. Right? So a couple of things that I would recommend really getting a grasp on is, first of all, if you do not have another stream of income currently, hit me up. I’m your girl. I will help you with that. It is so important.

I also believe that you need to learn how to save annually. You can stop like, literally start with a Roth IRA. You you don’t have to go crazy and think you have to do stocks and have this big portfolio and yada yada yada.

I mean, it simply starts with having a Roth IRA. Removing your debt, gotta remove your debt, your credit card debt. Start with if you have multiple cards, start with and this is my personal feeling. Some people will tell you there’s 2 there’s 2 choices. Right?

You could go for the card that has the higher interest rate because you’re obviously just blowing money with a higher interest rate or the card that has less money, you know, in debt that you could pay off to become debt free and get rid of that card.

Personally, I would go for the one that you owe less on. I think it’s a win psychologically. I believe, you know, how do how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

So let’s let’s start there rather than trying to tackle the one that has the higher interest rate that you just feel like you’re kind of swimming upstream. I wouldn’t be afraid to invest. I wouldn’t be afraid to take chances on opportunities.

Scared money doesn’t make money.

So if a new opportunity is presenting itself that you could make a, you know, a solid stream of income, Obviously, we know that that takes work and time, but every business requires you putting some kinda skin in the game.

You know, obviously, I always preach about how, to me, network marketing and social selling is a no brainer compared to starting a brick and mortar, where a brick and mortar, you’re investing 100 of 1,000 of dollars and you’re asking for loans and all of the things, whereas you can start social selling for a little to no investment.

Literally, just the a lot of the times, just the product or sometimes they have free sign ups depending on what time of the year it is. So don’t be afraid to make the investment because you have you get in, you get out of it what you put in, essentially.

Financial Stability and Multiple Streams of Income

And then once those streams of income start coming in and flowing, then you gotta learn how to management. Like you have to manage it well.

You know, I used to see all these posts all the time about, say, people in social selling who were making money and they were spending it, like, make your extra what would a 100 extra dollars a week do for you? It would pay for your mani pedi. It would pay for, like, and listen, if that’s your jam, like, cool.

But I’m gonna keep it real with you. If you have debt, then that’s where your money should be going because you can’t live the life that you wanna live with all of this debt looming over you. It’s gonna make your life so much more difficult. You won’t get as great of loans when you’re going for getting a getting a car or a home.

Because your credit’s gonna be trash.

So while I do believe that you can’t take your money with you, I also believe that when you have financial security, you’re going to greatly reduce the amount of stress in your life.

And those things, whether it’s buying a handbag, you know, like that high you get from it or the pampering that you get from a mani pedi. Let’s be real. I don’t care if you’re you if you are getting a gel manicure. Still only lasts 2 weeks.

So when you have the financial security though, you’re reducing your stress in your life and then stress, as we know, it’s the fastest way to get sick, which what loops me back to health being your number one priority. So to wrap that little tidbit up, you wanna make sure you have multiple streams of income.

You wanna learn how to start saving annually.

Start looking into a Roth IRA, and you wanna remove your debt. Start with your credit card that you owe the least on, and make sure that you pay that off.

And if right now you are in a position where, say, you only have one credit card, work on paying that off and then treat your credit card like it’s a debit card. It has to be paid off in full every month. Do not be afraid to invest.

Remember, scared money doesn’t make money. And then once you have these streams of income flowing for you, make sure you manage the money well so that you can have financial security in your life when life happens, the world happens, and you can reduce your stress levels.

Another thing that I’ve learned that is a very hot topic that I see maybe it’s just my Instagram algorithm.

Choices Between Work and Stay-at-Home Parenting

I don’t know. But, I know it’s definitely coming up because one of my best friends actually asked me this question the other day and asked me if I had a choice between working or being at home full time with my children, what would I choose?

And I said, well, that’s not a simple question because being at home with your children, I mean and not going to work, well, where’s the money going?

Because if you don’t have the money coming in, something’s gotta get cut. Something needs to get downsized. Something needs to happen.

And while I don’t personally believe that a career is everything, you know, and that paycheck. Right? I don’t think that that supersedes time, especially with little kids because they grow up literally right before your eyes. It’s wild.

It is important to recognize that that I’m just gonna talk about moms because, obviously, I am a mom, and I’m a female.

And I feel like this hits home harder for females because females are the ones who are typically expected to stay at home. I’m just calling it how it is. Like, it’s a lot harder being the mom than the dad. That’s probably controversial, but it’s the truth.

Like, just more goes into it. And you can have the greatest spouse and and father to your children, and it still isn’t equal. It just isn’t.

But I told her, I said, you know, yeah, sure.

If all of a sudden, the finances shifted completely one way and then enabled me to be at home, I would choose to be at home and I would be homeschooling yada yada yada. Not that we need that right now.

My daughter’s only 2 and a half but, like, I would choose that. But, ultimately, I still wanna provide a great life for my children that I can take them to great vacations and they can have worldly experiences.

And, okay, maybe they don’t need to have the fanciest clothes, but I don’t ever want to tell my kid that they can’t have something because we can’t afford it. So if that means I have to sacrifice some time away from them to work, then I will.

Now my situation’s a little unique in that me being at home, I have a very solid income on the side, right?

With my coaching, my network marketing business, my 1 on 1 coaching mentorship, my social selling, and things like that. So I’m a poor example of someone to ask this question to because I have multiple streams of income.

That’s the point. But I think we’re living right now in an all or nothing society where you have to choose between, like, being this boss babe. Or you’re a stay at home mother who’s, you know, making sourdough bread.

Like, it it that’s how makes you feel. And then if you’re not one or the other, you’re inferior. And I think it’s very important that we recognize moms who are fantastic in their careers, but also terrific mothers because you can be both.

So, yes, would I choose being a stay at home mom every day? Of course. But I’ve also seen this fear mongering that’s gonna make you believe that your career will overshadow you and your personal life, and it doesn’t have to.

Integrating Your Children Into Your Work Outside The Home

The reality is if you wanna live a certain lifestyle, you need to financially provide for your family, full stop. But you can’t believe these awful lies that you’re gonna be this terrible mother.

There’s and there’s literally nothing wrong with showing your children responsibility outside of the home. Right?

They see that you have to be at a certain place at a certain time.

They see you get dressed in the morning.

I mean, my daughter, she sees both me and my husband get ready for work, and she’ll say she knows we’re wearing golf clothes and she knows that we work at a golf course. So she’ll say, you get ready for work. When I wake up from that, mommy and daddy be home.

Like, she understands that we’re gonna be away. She’s visited our workplace. We integrate her into our lives. And like I said, it’s especially important for me as the mom, because I just feel like society poo poos you being both.

And the children, they begin to understand that sacrifices are being made so that they can live the life that you’re providing them. Why does mommy have to go to work?

Mommy has to go to work so you can drive in your nice car. Like you’re teaching them the value of a dollar. And I just I really believe it’ll help grow them as people. It really will.

Now, how do you be both? This is this is the caveat and this is where I think people lose it. Today is a perfect example.

So I’ve been up with her since the moment she got up. We went to church. We ran errands, I made her lunch, we sat and we had lunch together, and she knew that mommy had to record her podcast.

So she’s hanging out with daddy, and she knows mommy go to work. She considers this work because even though I’m not physically out of the home, this is still a career and a job.

Be present where you are – at work or with family

And she says, I be quiet. So she understands she’s integrated. But when I’m not doing this, I’m present with her because that’s the difference maker.

Are you turning off work once you get home? Because if you’re not, that’s where the scale tends to tip more in favor of work versus parent.

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The other thing that I’ve learned is that you’re not a tree, and you can move. And change is really hard. I speak as someone who’s not always the biggest fan of change, but I cannot stress enough the importance of personal growth.

Personal Growth and Change Are A Part Of Life

You always have to be growing, embracing new experiences and challenges because that’s what fosters your growth and then ultimately keeps your life interesting.

Can you imagine if you just had a Groundhog Life Day over and over? Oh my gosh. I hate that movie. But new careers. Right?

I know that’s always a really scary one for people because they get so habitual. They’re so used to showing up at the same place, same time, doing the same thing. You know, it’s one of the things that I talk a lot about even within my industry, in the golf industry.

So many of my friends are on that cycle that Nick and I were on, gosh, for over 10 years where we would work from, call it, you know, May 1 till November 1, and then we’d be off.

You know, we would be in New York and then we’d be in Florida. We’d be in New York, and then we’d be in Florida. And we did that for a long time. And then when we moved to Florida full time, people were I’m not gonna lie to you.

People are like I always believe that people, when they hate on you, like, it’s always a twinge of jealousy because they were like, ah, why would you go down there? You’re not gonna make as much money down there. You know, like everything. You name it. The summers are so hot.

You have to work, you know, 12 months a year as opposed to 6 because obviously the golf course is closed up New York, you know, in the wintertime, they don’t close down here, even though it’s hot as Hades here right now in June.

But they just had all these things to say. And what I can say as now in, in this particular industry, right? I’m speaking from personal experience. Gosh, what has it been? I guess it’s been not quite 3 years since we moved here full time.

The importance of resilience in facing life’s challenges

So this fall will be 3 years that he and I both have jobs at the best facilities in our area. Right? I think God puts things in front of you for a reason. And was it scary to leave the place that we were born and raised? Yeah.

We were moving somewhere that we were super comfortable with because we had been there for so long, But ultimately, it was it was scary to move all of your stuff to another state.

And we were starting a family. So we were leaving the places and the people and the job, everything that we knew behind and starting new.

And whether it’s you’re leaving things because they’re not serving you anymore. So, like, in our situation, it just wasn’t serving our life. That type of lifestyle wasn’t gonna work for us.

I encourage you to do it

And always be continuously learning and working on self improvement because it’s a lifelong process, and it’s going to make you a better person. And quite frankly, it’s gonna make you more interesting to talk to.

You know? And some of these people that you may have relationships with, some will last and some won’t.

Like, that’s a really hard thing for people to grasp too whenever they are changing something. Another tidbit that I’ve learned in my 38 years is how time is a thief.

So 1st and foremost, like, I think we all kinda know that, but like I said, we get caught up in this Groundhog Day life doing the same thing over and over again.

But when I became a mom, it made me value time even more than I ever did before because it is precious and it is finite.

And I encourage you to spend time with the people who make you happy, and you need to be sure to nurture those relationships. Do not take them for granted. It is so easy to just send a text message.

Especially, like I know in my situation, so many of my closest friends don’t live near me.

I have one solid friend who does, but even so, we’re on just different schedules, different ways of life. But to make sure that I’m talking to those friends regularly is so important, and don’t wait for them just to message you.

Now, I will say if you’re always the person messaging, then maybe, you know, it could be a one-sided relationship. But for the most part, you know who the real people in your life are.

And as you age, your circle is gonna get smaller and smaller. Okay? It’s just a fact of life.

But your bond with those said people is gonna become unbreakable regardless of whatever season of life you’re in. So like I said, those seasons of changing your career, maybe your best friend is at your job, Maybe it’s in the same state, whatever.

As long as you’re nurturing them, they’re not gonna go away. Is it gonna look different? Sure. But you know that you can call on them whatever whenever you need them.

So when you spend time with those you love, doing what you love, you’re not gonna feel like you’re wasting a day. Life is hard. Adapt and be resilient.

God did not promise us an easy life, but he did guarantee that he would be there to support us through every unpredictable change, so we can bounce back from setbacks.

And when it comes to say your career, if you wanna have long term success, and I guess this could apply could apply to your relationships too.

To whom much is given, much is expected – Luke 12:48

But if you wanna have long term success in anything, you have to understand that to whom much is given, much as expected. You’re going to be challenged. That’s just what comes along with it.

I was talking to a couple of my 1 on 1 clients last week and we were talking all about how do you go viral on Instagram and, you know, what does that look like? You know, first of all, it’s a crapshoot.

No one ever knows what song’s gonna make them go viral, what text, what video, yada yada yada.

You just don’t know. Don’t try to figure it out. There are certain things that you can do and that I teach my one on one clients to increase their chances, but ultimately, unfortunately, it’s up to the Instagram Gods.

But with that being said, everyone always wants that. They always want that microwave success, but they don’t really always want what comes with it. So that could be the comments that people are leaving that are not always nice and can be hurtful and hateful.

It could be, you know, yeah, your follower count goes up because of one reel. But if that’s not the type of content that you’re continuously putting out and then the user realizes it well, then you’re going to lose those followers.

That’s just how it works. And any type of platform that you have, you just have to understand that there’s going to be a lot of people looking to you. And when I say platform, I’m not necessarily meaning in a business way.

This is why I said this can relate to relationships too. Your platform, yes, could be that you are quote unquote a major influencer on the Internet, or the CEO of your company, or the head professional at your club, but your platform is also as a parent.

So you’re gonna be challenged, but you have these little eyes looking back at you to learn and to And they wanna see how did you handle said situation.

Remember God’s got you always, and he’ll help you through it.

But everything that you do in life, you have to learn to bounce back and be tough. You gotta have grit. One of my favorite books is actually entitled Grit. I suggest you read it.

It’s by Angela Duckworth. It’s fantastic. 

So, you know, some people say life is hard, wear a helmet. I won’t tell you to wear a helmet, but I am gonna tell you to adapt and be resilient.

Authenticity Matters – Stay True to Who You Are

And I believe a lot of that comes from another life lesson that I’ve learned, which is staying true to who you are. Authenticity matters.

It’s obviously gonna help you lean into more genuine relationships and a more fulfilling life, but it will also support your career. You’ll learn where you should be and with whom you should be in life.

God knit you in the womb to be exactly how you are. You gotta embrace it. You may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I know I certainly am not. But at least you can put your head on the pillow at night knowing that you’ve always stayed true to your values and who you are. That you will not be swayed by the ways of the world.

And I truly believe we are in a season in our culture where we really are we have to make a decision like who are we gonna who are we gonna follow? Are we gonna follow the word or are we gonna follow the world?

And every choice you make has a consequence. Right?

• It leads back to your happiness.
• It leads back to where you’re spending your time.
• It leads back to how you are as a spouse, a parent.
• It leads back to your finances.
• It leads back to your health.

So I really believe that when you know who you are, you can’t be pulled in all these other directions. And I scream authenticity from the rooftops.

Like, please, especially in this social world we media world we live in, like, just be you, homie. Just be you.

Healthy Boundaries in Your Personal and Professional Life

And I will say I’m not gonna lean on this one too much because I’ve done some podcast episodes about it, but healthy boundaries are a must. And I know the word boundaries you hear thrown around a lot, but it’s true.

And it’s setting and maintaining these healthy boundaries in both your personal and professional life that will help reduce stress.

Remember, stress is a killer. It’ll ruin your marriage, your relationships, your career, and most importantly, your health.

So whatever you feel that you need to be able to function, whether it’s spending less time with a particular person or having your own space to do x y z, whatever it is, set your boundaries for your family.

Because what you’re going to see is when you do set these boundaries, the people who push back on them the most are the ones that need them the most. That’s like a major red flag.

So for example, as a parent, if you set a boundary that whatever it may be, no, we don’t watch that show in our house. No. We don’t eat like that. No. We don’t speak like that.

The person that is making digs at you or making fun of you or disrespecting what you have laid out for your family, that’s the person that needs them.

And you set the boundary and you hold to it. And if they can’t comply, then they get less access to you and your family.

That’s how it works. Because people who truly love and respect you and aren’t narcissists, they will follow I don’t wanna say your rules, but that’s what it is. Right? They will follow what you have set for your family.

Practice Gratitude Daily

And the last thing that I will say is you need to practice gratitude daily. Every day I do this and I have conversations with God and it could be for big things.

Obviously, my family and my career and my home and our safety and our health.

And it can be something so small as thanks for looking out for me, Jesus. You’ve helped me find a parking spot close to the shopping cart return.

So I don’t have to walk all the way back to the front of Publix. I can just go right here. It is so easy to default to negativity. So this is a muscle that you’re going to have to work on every single day.

I know I am. It doesn’t have to be, like I said before about prayer and meditation is a conversation. So it doesn’t have to be long winded or anything like that. It’s something so simple.

Like I said, of thanking your creator for whatever it may be. Oh, you know, I’m running out the door. I have one one serving left of my yogurt. Thank you. You know, I don’t have to go on an empty stomach.

When we focus on the good, we are able to stay present and not live in fear. And God doesn’t want us living in fear. He wants us trusting in him.

So it is so important to show him daily the appreciation for the life that he gave you because it’s precious. So those were my tips, so to speak, of what I’ve learned after another year around the sun.

And it’s just a culmination of, like I said, of almost 4 decades of life. And I just feel like it can apply to everyone in your own story and you won’t go wrong focusing on those things.

And that is your health, your time, who’s important to you in your life, adjusting when difficulty arises, practicing gratitude to your creator for helping you get through said times, creating boundaries for people and eliminating those who don’t respect them, staying true to who you are, and always know that God created you this way.

So don’t feel like you have to conform to the ways of the world or Instagram. This is the way you were laid out to be. Thanks for hanging out with me for another year.

I appreciate it. If any of these really hit home to you and you wanna discuss it more, always reach out to me. You can find me on Instagram. I’m usually on there every day at some point in time. So I’d love to hear from you to continue the conversation.