You’re A Good Mom

You’re a good mom. I want you to know that and say it to yourself out loud right now. Did you do it? Okay. Full transparency. I might get emotional during this podcast. I know I did as I put together the notes for the show. And this topic is very near and dear to me and what I am currently walking through in life. 

I know that many of my friends are as well because they share it with me in the DMs. If there’s someone that you know that needs to hear this, please share it with them.

Debunking the Idea that Working Moms are “Bad Moms”

So right now, the trend on social media is to sell this pipe dream of building a life full of flexibility and meeting your children at the bus stop, crafting with the kids, etcetera, all while in the background, you’re earning 1,000,000 of dollars online. You’ve seen these women. 

Some come with a beige aesthetic, baking sourdough bread, homeschooling their children. Others are flashy and take these awkwardly weird videos in front of a Mercedes AMG that, truthfully, they could never afford long term. 

Trust me, they can’t. And the best part is, they’re telling you that you can achieve all this by, quote, “working in power pockets of time while in the carpool pick up line”. Well, wouldn’t that be nice? Hear me when I say this, if something sounds too good to be true, it is.

Stop Shaming Moms For Choosing To Work Outside The Home

Not only are they selling you a story with many holes in it, but they’re shaming moms who aren’t doing the same as them, either because they can’t financially afford to do so right now or ever, or they’re shaming the moms that choose to not do this and follow this path, even if they could financially afford to do so. 

And let me say this very clearly for all the people in the back. Not everyone can or wants to be at home full time with their children. And that does not make you a bad mom. 

Stay-at-Home Moms:
“Not everyone can or wants to be at home full time with their children. And that does not make you a bad mom.”

As a mom who’s been at home with my daughter full time for the last 21 months, I can tell you I am forever grateful for the opportunity, and have learned so much about myself during that time. 

Being a first time mom, honestly, it’s just not for the faint of heart. Your life has completely changed. You are completely changed, but it’s the best gift that God affords us in our lifetime.

And while I know many people can never even envision themselves as being a parent, I was certainly one of those people too. I can tell you that it has been my greatest accomplishment, and I’m thankful God knew better than I did. 

I think it’s pretty impossible to find someone who regrets becoming a parent. Children truly are just that special. During my time at home with my daughter, I’ve been running all of my social selling businesses at the same level that I had previously been doing the 8 years before becoming a parent. 

You know, I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade and for most of it, I wasn’t a mom, but I have had help. There is zero chance that I would be able to sustain what I did in this time without it. You know, we talk about how it takes a village when raising a child, but the same thing goes for running your business.

The Importance of Work-Life Balance and Setting Boundaries

There are truly only so many hours in a day, 24. And if you want a business to scale and then maintain that growth, you have to have help. As I was typing up the notes for the episode, my daughter was napping. But prior to that, she was running all around the house, dancing to worship music, entertaining herself while I was doing other work. 

Was she getting my full attention? No. In order for me to record this podcast, she’ll be with my husband right now. Is she getting my full attention? No. 

When I do the uploading of the files and the time edits and the links and all of that, and and then send them to my podcast editor, is she getting my full attention then? No.

Now imagine if I didn’t have a team to help me create the graphics, the show notes, email marketing, posting to my website, all of it. That is all time that I would not be with my daughter. And that’s just one medium I use to gain reach and run a business. 

That doesn’t include being on Instagram stories, doing posts, staying up to date on all the sales my affiliate brands are promoting, whatever it may be coming up with new products that we need to be promoting, answering DMs, all of it. 

Everything requires sacrifice. So telling moms that they’ll be home with their children, but neglecting to mention that while they’ll be physically present, they’re not gonna be able to give their undivided attention to their kids. It’s just straight up false advertisement. 

Something will have to be sacrificed, either your time or your income.

[00:05:30]:

There’s the push pull. What are you willing to give up? Are you willing to give up the time to have more income? Or are you not willing to sacrifice your time, but as a result, you will not have as much income. 

As someone whose love language is time, I struggle with this. And I hope you know you’re not alone if you feel the same. But I also understand that time isn’t necessarily about the quantity, but rather the quality that’s spent, which leads me into the shame factor that is spreading like wildfire. 

Do these ladies understand how insensitive it is to make statements like, I don’t want someone else raising my child. How ridiculous is that? So if we have no other option but to have our children in daycare or have a full time sitter that automatically negates any of our own personal influence on our kids, I call BS. 

As someone who had the same full time babysitter from the age of 4 months until I was 11 years old, I traveled with her and her family, and I was even in her daughter’s weddings.

I can tell you that my mom is still very much my mom and has had the greatest influence on me. I literally talk to her every day, multiple times a day, and she’s the one I’m mainly leaning on for support to help care for my daughter while I go back to work. 

Does that mean my daughter will be raised by my mom? No. She’s still very much raised by my husband and me, but these comments are incessant. Women are constantly curating content on IG over it. And whether we’d like to admit it or not, these loops of reels start to creep down into Great Moms Minds. 

You start to feel like a real POS that your maternity leave is so short, you stress and worry about being a good mom, and you’ll even cry yourself to sleep at night wondering if you’re doing the right thing. Trust me.

I get it. I did the same thing. But I’m here to tell you that these are just lies that the enemy is allowing to seep into you to prevent you from living out your potential. I recently reached out to a friend of mine who works as a full time nurse, and she’s a mom to twin boys and a toddler daughter, so 3 kids under the age of 6. 

And I explained how I was going back to work and I wanted to provide for my daughter. I want her to have the great life that I had growing up, if not even better, but I’m struggling with feeling like I quote, you know, failed her, right, when I see all these stay at home moms preaching that what they’re doing is the way. And she agreed. She totally gets this vibe from other moms on social media too.

[00:08:18]:

And I’ve spoken to several of my girlfriends who do work full time, and they’ve had to literally unfollow these types of women from social media because it’s just so much. 

But she said something that brought me to tears. She said, you, Maren, will never fail her, ever. You will do what works for you and your family, and it’ll be exactly what you make it.

And I’m here to tell you the same. You aren’t failing your children. You’re a good mom. The real question is, why are we telling moms that the only way they’re going to be a good mom is if they’re home 24/7 doting on their children? 

I can tell you that I personally know people who were stay at home moms and they’re pretty crummy.

Building a Successful Career and Being a Great Mom Are Not Mutually Exclusive

It doesn’t matter that they spend all their time with their kid because it’s about quality, not quantity. And we always talk about how children are like sponges, right? Whether it’s seeing you put on your work uniform or your professional attire that they see you go out the door in the morning, if it’s witnessing your time management skills in real time when it comes to getting dressed, making sure everyone is fed and getting your butt to work on time, or maybe it’s them seeing you receive recognition for your leadership in the workplace and bringing home your CEO award. 

Circling back to my friend I mentioned earlier. When I expressed my worry about leaving my daughter, she assured me that the balance is beautiful. It will teach her and me, quite frankly, more than you’ll ever learn in some expert’s book. She said that her kids see that she can work and care for others, but at the end of the day, she always comes home to them. 

The Importance of Balancing Work and Parenting:
“All of these life skills your children are witnessing first hand will give them a better understanding of the fact that you have responsibilities besides them. They begin to value the importance of a work ethic and the value of money end time, plus so much more.”

Yes. K. Many network marketing companies do similar recognition pieces like I just mentioned because They too understand the importance of it. I’ve been on several paid trips. I’ve had the trophies on my bookshelves to prove it. 

And I’m not saying that your children can’t experience all of those things from a mom who is an entrepreneur working from home, but it’s definitely messaging that needs to be more clear because your children have a difficult time recognizing the difference between mommy being on the phone trying to Close a deal, versus mommy on the phone talking to their Gigi. 

That’s just one of the main reasons I personally encourage all the women I work with to not only set business hours for themselves while working in the home, but designated work areas too. It is a privilege to raise your child whether you’re at home or not.

Okay? Your love for your child is not less if you’re working outside the home. If anything, working outside the home ensures that you don’t take for granted the time you do get with your child. Let’s be real. It is very easy to do so when you’re at home with them all day. 

I speak from personal experience as I count down the days where I will no longer be with her 247. Now you’re probably thinking, wait, Maren, don’t you work from home? And yes, I have for the last 2 years. 

But by the time you hear this episode, I will be back working full time in the golf industry. And I’m forever grateful for the downtime with my daughter that, you know, having those multiple streams of income, specifically from network marketing and social selling, have provided me, but I’ll preach it till I’m blue in the face, you need multiple streams of income.

Do not ever put all of your eggs in 1 basket. And this isn’t to hate on the online social selling space. K. Let me be clear. In the last few months, I’ve actually been developing an entire group coaching program, as well as a 1 on 1 coaching program that is specifically dedicated to growing multiple streams of income in this space of online social selling, network marketing, all of it. 

And I am someone who has built a business that has accrued over multiple 7 figures in the last decade. So I can say that you can earn money, significant money, by doing online social selling. I’m living proof that it’s possible, but I’m also not here to feed you BS or sell you snake oil because it took a lot of freaking work.

[00:13:24]:

And while building this nest egg, I was working other jobs in the golf industry. My day looked like waking up at 6:30, sometimes 6:45, because girl, I have a tendency to really cut it close on my timing. 

But I would get ready for work and then I’d work 9 to 10 hours a day. I would get home. I would get my workout in because that was, a, important to me, and then, b, part of my job, right, with my online health and fitness business.

I would eat dinner, and then my time wasn’t dedicated to binging Netflix shows. I was hopping on team calls. I was creating content for my network marketing business.

I was making graphics, all the things. And then I would hopefully get to sleep by 10, chances are it was a little later than that, and I would rinse and repeat. I literally did that for years. For years. 

In my particular industry, an area of the country, I was fortunate enough to have a job at a country club that was seasonal, so it afforded me more time to focus on my side business in the winter.

And I do believe that’s partly why my success was expedited. Because for six months of the year, I was, you know, essentially working 100 hours a week. I know that seems wild to people to even fathom, but it was true.

And then in the winter, I went full bore and went, you know, hard on my online social selling business, and I was working still 40 to 60 hours a week. So literally, for six months of a year, I was working two full time jobs, one, teaching golf, and then I’d come home to work on my network marketing business. 

And if you want to get in the top 0.01% of your company like I did. It will take work. And as I became busier and busier teaching in my full time job. And I wanted to experience this unicorn we call time flexibility. Right? You see all these women talking about it. I discovered the best way to do that is I had to outsource my work to a marketing team and a virtual assistant and more.

Multiple Streams of Income Can Give you Financial Security and More Choices For Your Family

Right? And it makes sense from a financial standpoint when you’re building a business because, a, there are only so many hours in a day. I was literally burning the candle at both ends.

And b, it’s an amazing business expense when you’re earning 10.99. And I talk about this all the time on my socials and in my coaching business, but I digress. You can learn more about that at another time. Let’s circle back, okay, to these moms talking about these amazing opportunities to you. 

Have they mentioned that? Are they talking about the cost that it takes to do a business? No. Or are they just showing you their gross income? That’s my favorite when they screenshot, you know, all of the deposits into their bank accounts.

Right? Are they telling you about all the assistance that they have working in the background? Nope. 

Or the people who set up their click funnels and run ads for them. No. They’re not. 

And, you know, I say this too all the time that I believe it takes money to make money. But let’s be real, you need to make money to be able to have those expenditures in the first place. You can’t go broke outsourcing all this stuff from the jump. You have to put in the sweat equity initially yourself.

And I recommend that, like, the best way to do that is how I did it, in that I would take you know, I had my full time job, And then I would set aside income from it that would go specifically to helping build my side business. And I am all for work life balance. K? 

And I will only work for an employer, like, from here on out, you know, going through what I’ve been through, having the privilege to be at home with my daughter for you know? 

I was home for 2 years, right, but with her, nearly 2 years, I will only work for someone that will promote that work, life balance. Like, they have to support it wholeheartedly. It’s literally nonnegotiable for me. And truthfully, it’s the only reason I made the decision to go back into the golf industry is because I knew my employer was supporting that goal. 

The staff was supporting that goal when I sat down with them. And it is my utmost goal to have a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle for both my family and myself.

For some people, that might be taking a family cruise, or for others, it might be sending their children to a particular private school, or it could be eliminating the worries of debt. No matter what your goals are, they require earning an income. 

And my personal opinion is that in order to reach your financial goals, it requires hard work and sacrifice from both within and outside the home. And I hope my messaging has conveyed the importance of having multiple streams of income because one never knows what events will force you to pivot. 

I have certainly had several in the last 3 years, but certainly in the last 3 years, if you know, you know. So do not be discouraged by people who have negative views on network marketing and social selling. You can find success with it. 

I’m living proof, but also I don’t want you to be ashamed of having the desire to work outside the home by those who have, like, such disdain for it.

Right? God gave you talents and skills for a reason. He puts opportunities in front of you for a purpose. I promise you that you can find harmony with both career opportunities without sacrificing the well-being of your family. And look, I get it. Right now, you’re being pitched to on every platform and everyone seems to have the secret sauce. But you’re smart and you can literally sniff through the BS. Right? 

You can see it as soon as it pops up on your feed. But yet you do still seek to work with someone who has been through it and hasn’t figured out because literally you don’t have time to dink around and you understand.

[00:20:27]:

What I’ve been saying, you know how important having that cushion is. There’s nothing worse than worrying about money, short of health. Right? Like, those are the 2 things that really tear people apart, you know, inside as well as their relationships. 

And, you know, I get asked all the time about how I’ve built these multiple streams of income over the last decade. And I’ve been spending, like I said, the last couple of months. And I was saying to myself, alright. How can I do things differently? 

Coaching and Guidance in Building Multiple Streams of Income

So I decided that I was gonna develop my own mentorship program to teach people how to do the same thing that I did. And I looked at all these gurus out there and mentors and, you know, so many people are telling you how to earn it and then quite frankly, spend it frivolously.

Right? And then there are others who teach you how to keep it. So you’re practically taking it to your grave, like holding onto it, you know, with your white knuckles. But what if you had someone that was gonna teach you all 3? 

So I was like, alright. What if I could teach people in my program how to earn money, keep money, but spend their money. And I was like, boom, light bulb. Like, Let’s do all 3 because I’ve definitely learned how to do all 3. 

And I’m so pumped about this opportunity to coach people live in a group setting. And, honestly, developing this program has been the most fun that I’ve had in business in years.

So if you would like more information, If you are seeking to create another stream of income, if you want that comfort of having a nest egg. So that when life pivots on you, because it will, that you cannot be worried. 

And you can buy yourself time until you figure it out because you always will. You always will figure it out. I promise you that. It may not feel like it in the moment, but you will figure it out. 

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If you wanna get more of this type of content, make sure you follow me on Instagram at @macrowley. And if you love this episode, let me know by tagging me on IG or even leaving a podcast review. See you next week.

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Questions to think about.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me at maren@marencrowley.com or leave a comment below.

1. What are some examples of sacrifices that you have made in order to balance work and parenting responsibilities?
2. Have you ever felt guilty or judged for working outside the home as a mom? If so, how did you handle it?