Final Weeks of Pregnancy: Due Date Myths and Setting Boundaries

As I sit here and record this podcast episode, I am officially 40 weeks plus 5 days with my second baby. And I pray that this tardiness isn’t a reflection of this baby’s future time management skills. You know that I’m all about boundaries, and today’s chat will dive into that, but specifically around your, quote, unquote, due date.

But before we dive into this topic, I wanna share with you a question I was asked this week by one of my friends on social media.

The Future of Network Marketing

So this past week, another network marketing company, Rodan and Fields made a bombshell announcement regarding their direct sales model. They made the decision that they will no longer give the distributors the ability to build a team, which as I’ve mentioned ad nauseam, that is the way you truly make substantial income within network marketing.

So going forward, they are strictly doing an affiliate model just as we had discussed with other companies like Sane. Now just as a heads up, this is now the 3rd, maybe even 4th direct sales company that I’ve talked about in just the last quarter that has made this major, major change.

But I digress. I’ve told you this is coming. And I’ve had multiple people because I’ve been talking about it and it’s been filtering around Instagram in people’s algorithms. People have been in my DMs asking me my thoughts on it.

You know, and they’ll even ask me, hey, are you still with your network marketing company, Bodi? They’re asking me what I think about the future of network marketing, what it looks like, etcetera. And a few months ago, I recorded a specific podcast on where I stand with Beachbody, aka, BODi.

And I definitely recommend you check it out. I’ll make sure that it is in the show notes for you so you can have easy access to it. But as far as the future of direct sales, network marketing, whatever the heck you wanna call it, It’s all tomato tomato.

I believe it is grim. Okay? And on Instagram this week, a Reels popped up that was shocking.

It was completely AI generated. And in this Reels, it was a bunch of celebrities dancing to the Sean Paul song, We Be Burnin’, if you don’t know it. It’s catchy little ditty from the early 2000. But these celebrities, they were all males. They had a coffee in their hand and, you know, they’re they look cool, they look very fit, handsome, and they’re dancing in the streets.

It was like Ben Affleck, George Clooney, the guy who plays Thor, I always forget his name, handsome guy, and Tom Hanks. Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head that were in it. Now listen.

If they can make Tom Hanks look fit, young, and handsome, because I personally didn’t even think he looked like that, you know, 30 years ago, you know AI is a magical wizard.

But the thing was, it looked the way they moved their their features, it looked so dang real.

Impact of Social Media and AI on Creativity

And I immediately posted it onto Instagram with a warning to people. So my consumers, like, be aware, not all that you see on the Internet is real. There are apps. There’s technology to make people look different, sound different. You know, you you can easily be deceived.

And, also, a warning to all my people who are either interested in earning income online or they are currently, you know, they’re already doing it through social selling that you need to really double down and either get involved now if you’ve been thinking about it or make the most of what you have if you already have been involved.

Because social media the the entire landscape, I can guarantee you, is going to change within the next 5 years, if not sooner. And I’m not trying to be fear mongering because that’s never my vibe.

The potential dominance of AI in social media and its effect on online income opportunities.

But if you’re looking to make money online, you need to do it now. Like, you literally need to make hay right now. AI is inevitably going to take over, and you need to have your own brand, a product you created, a program that you run, either, you know, some kind of I wouldn’t even recommend an evergreen, which is like something that you can mass produce because that can be duplicated.

But like, you need to have some kind of mentorship, whatever it is, coaching that is specific to you.

AI is a dangerous tool, and I believe it will affect direct sales as well as affiliate marketing and paid sponsorships. AI, truth be told, cuts out the middleman, the need for the actual person to represent the brand because they can create the talent through a computer generated system and and program.

I’ve even seen videos out there of photographers who are coming out, and they’re saying it’s easier for them to create the model, so to speak, from scratch, like a Frankenstein, if you will, online digitally to be in their photos for fashion companies or whatever it is that they’re promoting.

And even in videos because they can make them move so easily. Because it’s less expensive for them. They don’t have to pay the talent XYZ. Like granted, it’s a little different, right? Because Gisele Bundchen is such a well known name, but, like, they don’t have to pay that money to that model.

They can create their own model and essentially make that quote unquote computer model famous to the level of the Gizelle Bundchen if they really want to.

It’s a little different, but at the end of the day, it’s a way for them to be cost effective. Not only that, but they don’t have to deal with the demands.

It’s a computer. Like, it’s not like they can talk back or be late to a photoshoot or anything like that or take it personally when you say you want to adjust, you know, something in their physique, their hair, their makeup, whatever.

And when you think about it, it kinda makes sense for the person who’s producing the content. It’s unfortunate for the talent, but that’s just the way it is with this AI.

So if you’re looking to earn income online, I really recommend you get started now because the window of opportunity to earn income, it’s getting smaller and smaller. It takes time to build a relationship with your audience so that they trust you to work with you and make purchases from you.

Like, not for anything, homie, you need the street cred. If you wait until, you know, the right moment or a year from now or whatever it is you’re telling yourself, you’re only hurting your future income.

And I’ll say these 2 mantras until I am blue in the face.

It takes money to make money and time is the only resource that you can’t get more of.

So you need to establish yourself as a brand that cannot be duplicated. This is also why I believe that 1 on 1 mentorship is so important versus a digital product because those digital products, people can duplicate it, maybe make a little change here and there, change the the brand kit colors, you know, so it looks different.

But, ultimately, they’re just gonna pretend it’s theirs. I mean, look at all those master resale rights people.

There are also so many dupes out there for physical products besides the digital. You see it all the time with these Amazon influencers.

They’re showing you dupes of the free people, you know, personally, I have the free people jumper.

I don’t buy the dupes. I’m not a dupe person. And I’m not here to say that, like, you know, dupes are a new thing. Like, hello, Canal Street. I’m born and raised in New York.

Some people live for that, like finding the the best Gucci knockoff or the best Louis Vuitton knockoff. It’s not new news, but it’s at a different level now with social media. And people are losing their creative genius because people are just going out there and using this AI technology to take things that aren’t their own and pretend that they are.

I mean, I don’t care what it is, whether it’s a a skirt, press on nails, like it’s it’s everywhere. But you know what can’t be duplicated? You.

For example, when someone signs up to be mentored by me through my group coaching program or maybe they sign up for a 1 on 1 intensive with me, you know, for mentorship. AI can’t pretend to be me. It’s physically me on the calls. It’s Maren speaking to them when they Voxer message me with their questions.

I’m not saying that you need to coach or mentor people in the same niche as me because that’s what I’m for. That’s how I help people. I help them figure out what their talents and skills are so I can help them reach others while also monetizing their passion.

But it’s about having that face to face time even if it fits through a computer screen on Zoom.

That’s so important because that can’t be faked. And I understand that many people are burnt out from the direct sales model, which is like, like I said, building a team. That’s essentially how people make their large income through direct sales.

And they’re burnt out from it because they did it for free for so long. I mean, I did it for free, essentially, but because they did it really well, it paid off financially for me. So it was kinda just one of those things you just you just take it for what it is.

But when people aren’t at that level of success financially within their direct sales company, they can start to begrudge the whole opportunity.

As much as I hate saying that direct sales is gonna change for every company, I still believe it. You know, at least I hate to say it because I know financially it’s gonna impact my family’s income. But I do believe it’s only a matter of time that it’ll disappear for everyone. So use this as a sign that you need to build your own business so that you reap the benefits of earning a 100% of the profits as opposed to, at most, 30% from whatever company it is you’re representing and making sales from.

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Unpredictability of Due Dates and Pregnancy Factors

Alright, back to creating boundaries around your due date. Unless you’re planning on having a scheduled delivery via c section, you definitely can’t tell when your baby’s going to come. Okay? Let’s be clear. Early, I’m using air quotes, technically means premature or before 37 weeks pregnant.

Statistics on pregnancy due dates

Beyond 42 weeks

Late is officially after 42 weeks completed of pregnancy or the due date that was assigned to you.

Now your baby literally has a 3 to 5% chance hey, split the difference, call it 4% of actually arriving on the date given to you by your doctor or midwife.

There are so many factors that determine your due date that the accuracy is almost impossible to pinpoint. Every woman’s cycle is different. It is silly to assume that every woman has a 28 day cycle because they don’t.

Sperm can live inside the woman for days. So there’s no guarantee that the day of conception happened on the day that the two people had actual sex. There are just so many different factors involved.

That’s why when people have guessed when my next baby is coming, they assume it would be on the same timeline as my daughter. I remember my mother-in-law saying, oh, but you went early last time when we told her that I was pregnant.

But in all reality, I was early, air quote, by 5 days, not weeks. It’s just like when you have people look at your belly and saying, oh, it’s definitely a girl because blah, blah, blah, blah.

Or you’re you’re carrying low, it’s definitely a boy. They’ll do the same with your due date. The fact of the matter is no one knows. They’re all wives tales that happen to be right once in a blue moon.

Speaking of moons, did you know that that’s also an old wives tale? That more babies are born on full moons because of the pull of the gravity towards the center of the Earth.

Like I said, these random ideas have no limits when it comes to pregnancy and babies and all that. Statistically, most first babies are born full term which is the 40th week. My first baby was born at 39 weeks plus 2 days.

But don’t forget, I was medically induced due to my HELLP syndrome diagnosis. Our bodies are beautifully designed by God and are designed to protect the mother.

So I truly believe that that’s why I saw signs of labor beginning a few days before I even was admitted to the hospital, my body knew that my daughter had to get out so that we would both be safe.

So, you know, all things considered, if I didn’t have HELLP syndrome, who knows how long I truly would have gone if I hadn’t received the diagnosis. That’s why it’s even harder to say when the second baby will come because I didn’t have a quote unquote normal end of my 3rd trimester.

6% of babies are born late, which I was very surprised by that. So that late would be that 42 weeks and after. The reason why I’m surprised by that is because in standard care, OBGYNs, like, they start talking about medical induction methods as soon as you’re 40 weeks, man. Like, they they are not about you going beyond 41.

Now as far as working with a midwife, they will go to, like, as long as everything’s normal with your blood work, yada yada yada, they’ll go to 42 weeks. So I thought 6% was pretty high.

Early births

Now 12% of babies arrived early, so that’s before week 37.

And, honestly, I wish that number was lower because those babies aren’t full term. And they’re the ones that are ending up in NICU and things like that.

And in working with a midwife in in both of my pregnancies, 37 was always that marker for me because that was the earliest they would ever deliver in the birthing center or at home because that was considered full term.

The majority

So I was always looking at that as like, alright, I made it to 37 weeks, like, we’re Gucci. And then, of course, 82% show up between 37 and 41 weeks. But what about the actual due date? Right? I mean, like I said, that’s wild. It’s 4%.

And research has shown that you’re better off telling people you’re due month versus a due date because pregnancy length can just vary. I mean, up to 5 weeks.

I’ve always said that all things motherhood, pregnancy, postpartum, yada yada yada, it’s just one big massive gray area.

And I speak from personal experience, but, you know, both times, but namely this time that the most difficult thing to deal with when you’re late, air quote, by everyone else’s terms is the pressure you’re gonna receive from your family and your medical team.

Specifically, if you do happen to be in a high risk pregnancy as well, which I am. So whether it’s from your family because of their work or travel schedules or when they’re available to help you, perhaps it’s from your medical team because, well, quite frankly, a lot of people in standard care, like, same reasons, right?

Like, they know when they’re gonna be on vacation, these doctors or if there’s a holiday, they don’t wanna be doing, you know, these bursts on Christmas or maybe they had some busy go on for 4th July, whatever it is, like, same thing.

They have their own agendas in standard care. Also, they don’t like having the risk, I’m using air quotes again, of a late term pregnancy on their record because God forbid something bad happens, they don’t want to be on the hook for that. So they’re always quick to introduce medical inductions. Cha ching, cha ching. Pitocin.

You know, all the things. Right? Membrane sweep, etcetera. But it’s up to you to make sure that you have informed consent to make these decisions.

Either way, whatever you decide whether it’s to wait or if you were to choose induction methods, you need a support team. You need your medical team, whether it’s your OBGYN or your doula, your midwife, onboard with what it is you’re gonna do, as well as your partner.

You’re gonna find more comfort and peace in giving a generalized date like end of July versus a specific date to everyone else.

Now obviously, you and your partner and your team, they know because of testing yada yada yada what your specific date is, but everyone else doesn’t need to be on the same page.

I’m asking you to do as I say, not as I do. Right? One of the things that I majorly regret telling people is, like, the exact date that this baby was due because it has added so much unnecessary stress.

And stress, such as anything, can lock things up. You know what I mean? I’m just being real. I believe it’s also been a contributing factor into why it’s taking so long for this baby to come Earthside as well.

Prioritizing the Well-being of Mother and Baby

So, like, let’s talk work schedules. While I understand that many people have to give their jobs enough time and notice for their paid leave, At the end of the day, it is beyond frustrating to be either out of work or on your paid maternity leave, and the baby isn’t even here yet.

It’s like, well, that’s time and money you could still be earning income. You may have a situation like mine where your family doesn’t live close, so you’re asking them to take off time from their work schedules to be there to help too.

You know, everyone’s, kind of, sitting in the house staring at one another waiting for the signs. It’s like the equivalent of washing a pot of water boil. Right?

Everyone kind of starts to get on edge. Then you have the people who are constantly texting and messaging you. And by constant, I do mean daily, some people.

And while I’m personally very appreciative, so many people are checking in on me, whether it’s been family, friends, co workers, the members at my club.

Like, I think that’s huge that they even remembered, or the strangers that I talk to, my online friends, as my husband calls them, on social media.

But the reality is all of those touch points, if you will, can really mess with your mindset. And you have to be very strong and practice fortitude to not let it affect you and when this baby is coming, because you start to get in your own head and think, like, is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with the baby?

Like, what is the baby moving? Is not moving? La la la? Like, was that a contraction? Was that Braxton Hicks? You know, all the things.

And the pressure just starts to build. And I found that a lot of times, it it can be about more about the person who’s asking you than, like, true concern about you and the baby. It’s human nature.

Like, everyone wants to be the first to know when the baby comes out, tell their friends, it’s this, you know. This is the name. Well, I mean, first of all, that’s not how I roll because, you know, I don’t share names or faces on the Internet.

But I have personally seen an increase of views in my Instagram stories in this last week. It’s proof of this theory because everyone’s waiting to see, is she posting? Is she not posting? Is the baby here? Is it not?

You know, I’ve also witnessed the pressure of well, this person needs to get back to work. So can the baby come already? Like, why isn’t the baby here? I got I have a a plane booked, blah blah blah.

I have a vacation scheduled. It would be so much more convenient for the baby to come early so I can visit. I mean, one of my dearest friends, she’s due a few weeks after me.

Her mother-in-law said the same to her. Like, what I just said about, like, listen, you know, it’d be more convenient if blah blah blah came, you know, on such and such date.

And she’s like, seriously? Like, I don’t have control of that. I could go on and on about this and I know I’m not the only person who has experienced it. It’s difficult and I want you to know that you’re not alone if you’re going through this.

Set guidelines for family and friends regarding delivery, postpartum and newborn care

So how do you combat all of these pressures thrown at you? You have to be straight up with people and set boundaries.

Whether it’s a text message reiterating that, you know, the baby will come when the baby is ready. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t text me as frequently about this.

I’ll update you if there anything changes. You know, have these conversations even down to your immediate family.

You may also have to tell people whose schedules don’t align with yours and the baby when they’re coming.

Like, it is what it is. Whether it’s you having to make an adjustment as to who’s helping you because who you thought was gonna be available is not.

Or those people understanding, well, if you have such and such on your schedule, then you’re just going to have to wait to see the baby.

The fact of the matter is, as the mother, the priority is you and the baby, no one else. If someone’s pressuring you to have the baby sooner so they can see the baby sooner, that’s on them, not you.

If someone is, like, making it a game about when’s the baby due, like, and they have a pool, like, I’m I’m telling you, like, people are, like, wild about this stuff. Like, it’s not a reflection of you at all.

I promise you that that baby isn’t going to remember who was there when they were born, or even in the 1st month. I’m 38, I couldn’t tell you who I saw in the 1st month. And it didn’t change my relationships with anyone in my life.

The baby’s not gonna remember, oh, so and so won the the pool on when I’d be born, and won a $200 Amazon gift card, right? No. None of that matters.

Your Baby Will Remember Your Energy and How You Felt

What they will remember is how their mother felt. Babies feel all of that.

They feel it in the womb, and they feel it when they come out. That is why it’s so important for you to protect your mindset and energy during this delicate time prior to the baby arriving and postpartum.

It is crucial to set guidelines for your family and friends about postpartum and newborn life. You need to make sure that your needs and the baby’s are met and respected.

This is a special time and you can’t get it back. Okay? This this isn’t something you can push the rewind button on. And if you’re like me and you know that you’re done with children, it’s even more important.

Manage your visitors. Set expectations. Find ways to be supported, both you and the baby, so that you can have a smooth and sacred transition together.

If you have been through a scenario like this throughout your pregnancy, postpartum, or in your motherhood journey, please know that you’re not alone by any means. This is the most difficult yet rewarding job you’ll ever have. And I’m here to help you in each season of motherhood.

Motherhood Mentorship Calls

I have 30 minute motherhood mentorship calls that I offer to help talk you through your questions, your research findings, your birth preferences, and more. Added support on topics like we discussed today, and whatever else you may need. This is your time, so we will customize the conversation to you.